I am scheduled for surgery on monday and I think I changed my mind! Yep, I'm too scared to go through with it. I don't like the thought of losing a major organ! I don't think I can do this!!!!

Relax. Take a deep breath. Relax once more.

Your colon has done nothing for you except slow down your life. If you choose to keep your colon you run the risk of keeping your body in an inflammatory state. You'd be more prone to cancer and other problems. Keep that in mind.

Ultimately the decision is yours. Speak to your family and think about it thoroughly this last day.

take care

Shawanna, I think there is a big difference between just being scared of the surgery itself (ie. pain) versus doubting whether you should have the surgery at all. I was nervous/scared of surgery, but I still knew deep down it was the right decision for me. My nerves were related to the process of surgery itself, and not the decision I had made.

If it is just fear of the pain/process of surgery, then maybe talk it through with your family and try to reassure yourself of all the positive reasons you decided to have surgery in the first place. But if your fear comes from doubt about your decision to have surgery, then it might be worth postponing.

It's a big decision and you need to sure about it.

My surgery was a difficult decision. That was 19 years ago. I had UC for 12 years. Afterwards I was healthy for the first time in 12 years, had energy, no more meds, no more blood transfusions, no more cancer risk and a life without knowing where every bathroom is and accidents in public.
I eat what I want and am strong.

Where are you located?
You will be happier after.
With the meds you have been on it is difficult to think clearly and make decisions. You wouldn't have gotten as far as a surgery date if you didn't know it was the best option for a healthy life.
Good luck.
Take today to be bust tying up loose ends so your mind is clear and worry free as you go in tomorrow.

You will be in my thoughts
Holly

Agree with all of the above. It is natural to feel like this is going to be the biggest mistake of your life, that it is permanent and there is no going back. However, you need to rethink all the decision making you did to come to the conclusion that you needed this surgery in the first place. What has changed in the past few days to alter your decision? If none of the facts have changed, then you do probably need the surgery.

However, if you go into surgery with nothing but dread and fear, anything that does not go well will be a cause for you to claim affirmation of your fears and you will constantly be looking for the next shoe to drop. I have known people who felt that they were pressured into surgery when they really were not personally ready for the committment. They were not happy with their outcome and held unreasonably high expectations for a surgical result. Basically, they set themselves up for disappointment.

If you cannot get yourself back into a place where you are accepting of this surgery, you are probably not ready to pull the trigger, and you should reschedule or postpone or even call it off altogether. I really feel that a person should be movitivated for this surgery for the best possible outcome. The one caveat is that you really do not want to wait until it becomes an emergency surgery, at a much greater risk to your health.

Jan

I was scared I hd 23 surgeries and scared every time I also knew deep in my heart I was gonna have problems everyone used to say think postive and it wont I ended in coma . Not trying to scare but to tell you all in all I had to have surgery no matter what happen and it was right descion for me and you will know when its right for you .


I will tell you this is no easy task even after some people have it easier than others but all and all from what most say after a few years it was worth it i,m still going through major issue's but i,m only a few months out after takedown so its normal.

Just remember you and only you will know when the time is right I also cancel the surgery a few times because I was not ready but now I wish I had not because this disease does not get better it takes a toll on your body in time so make the descion when you are ready good luck.

Shawanna, It is funny how things work out. I was going to post a similiar message last night when I saw yours. I am 2 weeks away from the first surgery and was also having doubts lately. Sometimes I think if I would stop drinking Diet Coke (caffiene free of course) or would alter my diet I could reverse the UC. Or maybe if I found some natural cure combination that nobody has tried or a breakthrough in Medicine would be found next month than I should hold out. BUT...after getting up every hour and 15 minutes to go to bathroom last night(6 times in 8 hours ) I realize the J-pouch (or ostomy bag) is better than this useless colon that I have. My wife wants me to get better, my kids want me to get better, now it is up to me to want to get better. After fighting this same flare since August I think I am ready to have the surgery and get better...
I think it is harder for people who get to "decide" to have the surgery rather than people who have the surgery done because they have too. I wish my doctoer would say I "have" to have the surgery. She does say that since I have been so sick for so long I don't even remember what feeling well feels like. Besides -look at all the good drugs we are going to get I haven't taken any pain meds in the 2 years I have had UC...my doc doesn't want to mask the symptoms from the flare ups.Hopefully the surgery will work out for both of us...keep us posted with your decision

I am leaving in an hour to have the surgery. I know I am doing the right thing! Keep me in mind around 1:00! Thanks to everyone!

Does anyone know where Shawanna24 is having her surgery?

will say a lot of prayers for you.
Hope all goes well

Keep us posted!
David

Shawanna,
Thanks for posting your fears and thoughts. I am thinking of and pulling for you today- hope you will come and post, and fire away to this incredible bunch of people, as you recover. Wishing you a very speedy and smooth recovery.
Christopher

Hi Shawanna
It certainly sounds like you are not alone in wanting to change your mind. Even after being told that I needed to be admitted IMMEDIATELY after a colonscopy, I kept saying no..."I'll feel better in a little while." I'll never forget that the surgeon who was called in at that time kept shaking his head at me and saying.."Don't you get it?? You are a sick woman." I finally got it. I didn't know how sick I was and as David K said, we've been sick so long, we think that is how we are supposed to feel. Having said all that, after my colectomy, I still sometimes ask myself...did I really need to go to this extreme? The answer is yes... My thoughts are with you for a successful surgery and an easy recovery.

nys

XXXXXXXXX sending hugs your way Shawanna!

Dear Shawanna,

I had my first surgery in January 2006 after almost 20 years of UC. My first reaction upon coming home, besides constantly sleeping, was to think to myself, oh my gosh what have I done put it back!!!

Then, day by day, week by week, I got stronger, regained my appetite, found it easier and easier each day/week to do a little more, and now I am so grateful that I took that first step and said, yes, let's do it and be done with it.

You made the right decision.

When you get home, let your family and friends take care of you, dote on you.

Get plenty of rest but walk as much as you can to build up your strength and get your legs back.

And STAY HYDRATED!

Best wishes! Please let us hear from you when you're up to it.

Shawanna,
I am very empathetic to the decision you have made. I had to make the decision along with my teenage daughter for her. It was not easy. Her post colectomy days have not been easy, but we both knew that her life with UC was hard and never going to be better and could have been far worse if she developed cancer. My husband wanted us to wait for a medical cure, but my daughter had suffered for a fifth of her life already and had taken so many dangerous drugs, that we decided to go forward with the surgery. My daugher and I are keeping you in our thoughts; we know what you have gone through along with all these other good people. You are not alone. Stay strong and never second guess your decision.