When I had a UC flare, my doctor prescribed Canasa suppositories. I never could understand the medication instructions. It read:

Insert one per rectum per day


??????

Is that really possible?
2 rectums? wow!

Well, it's better than the way I used to take them... orally.

I called my docs office a couple of days later to complain about the taste, and they laughed at me...

(just kidding)

//Todd

Uggghhh....

I went to pharmacy to pick up some sleeping pills, the pharmacists instructions....these might make you drowsy.....I don't know about you all , but I sure had to bite my tongue on that one. I behaved, but it sure wasn't easy.Ok, sometimes I'm a smart aleck, but really! A sleeping pill that could make you drowsy...duh.
LoriP

Per rectum was not intended to be funny, it just seems that way when you think of per as meaning "each." But, in medical terminology, per means by or via, as in "PO"- per os, meaning by mouth. I guess the pharmacist forgets to translate to normal language when typing the label.

The first time I saw this joke a few years back, I didn't even get it because my brain automatically translated it to "by rectum."

The funny/scary pharmacist "consultation" I got when I first filled my Humira Rx went like this:
"So, what has your doctor told you about this?" "She gave me all the details. I read all the prescribing information, saw the video, and I am also a nurse." "Well, it sounds like you know more about it than me. Hope it works for you!"

I wonder what he was going to tell the uninformed...

Jan

One time i was in hospital and wasnt sleepin veri well so was prescribed sleepin tabs. i must have managed 2 sleep naturally one nite when around 23.00 hours i was woken up by the nurse to give me my sedative,hence i coudnt get back to sleep and was not happy to say the least!!! how crazee was that, lol now! take care, hedkandi x

That wasn't me!!! I worked nights for over a decade and I would never, ever wake someone up to give them a sedative. Pain pills, yes, sedative, no.

I was one of those "old school" night nurses. I turned off the main hall lights when I came on duty at midnight if they were not off already and I would make my rounds with a flashlight and tip-toed around. I never would flip on the light in a patient's face when I needed to take vital signs or give meds. This was true even in the ICU. We were taught in nursing school that it was important to try to maintain the same circadian rhythm while in the hospital and exposure to light and dark was and important part of it.

I was pretty alarmed at how things have changed with it being bright and loud as daytime in the halls all night. As a patient, I wound up closing the door to my room at night.

Jan

A REAL nurse, Jan, I wish I'd had you when I had my surgeries!
LoriP

i was first diagnosed with uc around 19, so dr's treated me like a child. once in the hospital for a flare, i had the usual dehydration and anemia. the nurse came in & handed me a pill. I questioned what it was, she said the iron that they were giving me would make me constipated, so the dr prescribed a stool softener!!!! i said no thank you, i think i will enjoy a little constipation!!!!! yikes!

Our hospital here on the island still practices Jan's Old school of nursing. It was a bit of a shock to the system the very first time I had to spend a night in one of the UK's NHS hospitals and as Jan said you would never know the difference between night and day with the amount of light and noise that went on. I'm so glad I don't have to go back there again!

Shell

That's hysterical!!! It brings to mind a patient I use to see many years ago when I worked in a family practice clinic. This poor old Italian fellow had been complaining of really painfull cramps, so the doctor prescribed a suppository for him and told him to come in 2 weeks later for follow up. Well, not a week had gone by when he arrived at my desk in even more pain, and furious that the meds weren't working. I asked him if he was taking them properly, and he said..."I swallowed the damn things for 5 days now!!!!!!!!"...so, trying my best not to break out into hysterical laughter, I told him you're not supposed to swallow them, and told him EXACTLY how to take them. Well, he came back about a week later in even more pain and just as frustrated as before, with his hand stuck out carring about a weeks worth of suppositories he had tried to insert into his, well, you know...... I asked him why he had not taken them the way I had instruced him to. He said he had done EXACTLY what I told him to do, but he forgot one tiny detail that I insisted he pay attention to, he forgot to remove the foil wrapping from the capsuels before inserting them!!!!..I stood there, almost peeing myself, I had to leave the room!!!!..after I laughed so hard I almost cried, and got back my composure and reminded him he had to remove the foil before he took them! After that, I got a call about 3 days later telling me he was just fine now, and that all medication should come with Italian instructions!...the joys of working in health care!!!

Cheers all!
Eric

Italian instructions...
Take-a one-a capsola uppa the bumma one-a times a day-a no forget-a to-a remove-a the reynolds wrap-a.No angry remarks from any Italians ,I`m Italian.Just having some fun!