Two buddies were getting very drunk at a bar, when suddenly Timmy
throws up all over himself.


"Oh, no...Now my wife will kill me!"

His buddy says,?
"Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your shirt
pocket and tell your wife that
someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars
for the dry cleaning bill."

So they stay for
another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually Timmy
stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a
bad time.
"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself, My
God, you're disgusting!"

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Timmy says,

"Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot
wha yew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks.

But thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too
any! And he juss koudin hold hizz liquor.
He said hes was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie
bucks for the cleaning bill!"

His wife looks in the
shirt pocket and says, "But this is forty
bucks..."

"Oh, yeah...I almos' fergot, he shhh*t in my pants,too."