Ok, the link to bowels and IBD is very tenuous, but this is such a funny story that I have to share it with you anyway . The link to IBD is chicken, a staple of many IBD-ers' diets.
A very good friend of mine worked as a language teacher in Oslo, teaching English using the Berlitz method. (That means you don't speak a word of any other language other than the one you're learning, not even in the very first lession. Total immersion - very tough and very effective!) One of his pupils was a Chinese businessman who I'll call Mr Hong. My friend, Kim, taught him one-to-one for several weeks and I don't know who found it more exhausting. Mr Hong found English as difficult as most of us would find Mandarin Chinese.
Kim told me that Mr Hong was having a lot of trouble hearing the difference between "chicken", "kitchen" and "ticket".
One day, Kim came home in the evening, collapsed in a chair and groaned: "I am KNACKERED! I have just spent 3 hours trying to make Mr Hong understand that there is no such thing as a one-way chicken to New York!!"