A nervous boy went to pick up a girl for their very first date. She wasn't ready, so the boy sat in the living room with the girl's father and dog.

After a few minutes of small talk, the boy felt a horrifying urge to pass gas. It just couldn't be helped, so he did, quietly.

Seconds later, the girl's father looked at the dog and said, "Duke!" Great, thought the boy, he thinks the dog did it. Relieved, he passed gas again.

Seconds later, the girl's father looked at the dog and said, a little louder, "Duke!" Fantastic, thought the boy, I can just let 'er rip. And he did.

At that point, the girl's father stood up, looked at the dog and said, even louder, "Duke! If you don't get away from that boy, he's going to s _ _ t all over you!"