Not really a vent. I actually find this funny but then I was never one to give in to peer pressure. Anyway, I am always getting the "Why don't you come out and have a drink with us?" at work. I refuse and say I really can't. They say yes you can and then I say well no my system can not handle it, you know since I am missing a major organ. Today, I got the why are you always talking about your colon. My response was well why is it you are always talking about boozing. I am an attorney if that explains things. Attorneys and alcohol, kind of like peanut butter and jelly. This attorney in particular has multiple health problems, obesity, sleep apnea, had a brain tumor removed, etc. The more crap they give me, the more obnoxious I become. What is wrong with people???

Lucy

Lucy! What a great comeback!!!!

Yeh i get the same thing "hey Leon man why don't ya get pissed with us anymore man, is it cuz your girlfriend has you on a short leash?"

i feel like saying "no you 2 braincelled f%$k kunckle, i had a one meter part of my body removed 5 months ago and i dont feel like destory my body again just yet"

yeh as you can tell it gets me angry, it's bad enuff i cant drink... it worse when people who don't know $hit from clay tell me i can... ppft.

Lucy
you should ask these people if they would ask a one legged person to go out for a jog.....Just because people can't see our disability they think we are fine...Some people are just insensitive and they will never change. I can't tell you how many times people said..so you get some diarhea and stuff, you look fine...what's the big deal...etc etc...Even now i have a raft of medical problems and people still don't get it. Some people are just arses.. UGGGGGG!
Tazzy

The ignorance is bad, but it can be both funny and annoying at the same time. My brother-in-law asked me if -- with the ileostomy -- I have to sit on the toilet all day long, or only for a few hours at a time. And my mother-in-law (a nursing instructor!!!) likes to tell me how terrible I still look, how after takedown I'll be out of work for at least 6 months, how I shouldn't be doing half of things I can do and am perfectly capable of doing almost all of the things I really can't do. Scary.

Feel free to be obnoxious; these people obviously need a major clue-gram.

Gin

Take it from a long time poucher, in the years to come you will experience the most ignorant people you have ever met! I've been asked ever stupid question and then some, but over the years I've learned not to let it bother me, I really don't care what others think or say, as long as I know I'm taking care of myself, that's all I care. But if the truely ignorant insist on bothering you, come up with a few wild stories to shut them up. case and point...I was on the beach last year when this, if you'll pardon the expression, dumb blonde walks up to me, looks at the scars on my abdomen, and says "like, what happened to you, like , you know, like that doesn't look, you know, like normal?"....so without a moments hesitation I said..."I was fighting sharks off the coast of Tahiti and the shark lost!". Well, she looked at me puzzeled, and finally said, "reeeeally, like, oh my god!!!" I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard at just how stupid this woman was!!!! After about five minutes she finally figured out what me, and half the beach, was laughing at. She came back, called me a freak and ran away....some peoples children, geeze!!!!!

cheers!
Eric

Blasted stupid people.

The only way I know of to shut them when they're pressuring me to do something is to say "well, that makes me really *twitch* stabby" and throw in a few poking motions with my hand. But I don't see it working in a professional situation. I agree with Eric; since they won't let it go, make up some fantastic story. My current one is "I was sick, and when I went to the doctor they found the problem right away. Apparently I had too many redundant organs. Two lungs, two kidneys, large AND small intestines, and so on. They wanted to go and take half of them, but I made them do it one at a time. And look at me now!"

If they don't get a clue by then... yeah. If they keep hassling you, you could always try a religious excuse.

Chase

Funny stories. Eric always has a good one. He should be a writer. After I posted yesterday, the individual in question said to me well why don't you come anyway and have iced tea. I declined and refrained from name calling. The attorneys who watched me almost die from UC never say anything stupid. We recently merged firms and so I have to deal with new people. I am a partner and can really say anything I want, but I have been trying to be mature. The new guys know I had major health issues, but looking at me you would never ever know it.

I've used this with some of my friends when they don't understand- I say, "Okay, I'll go, but for you to feel what it is like for me to go out and eat you need to take 4 dulcolax tablets before we go. Then see how fast you can find an empty restroom after you have some food in you and you need to go NOW!"

They all seem to back off when I say that and I just joke around with other people at work I don't know as well. I ask them if they would mind if I walked around the bar with a garbage bag taped to my butt to catch the explosions as they come out. Or maybe this, "I'll go with you, but if I can't find a restroom I'll just go in your car. Is that cool with you?"

Yes we sure get a lot of good ones. I love the one, you can't live without a colon. And they get adamant about it! Well guess I'm dead then! Stupid..... That is why I love this site, we understand! No we sure don't look like we've been sick! All you can do is laugh and ignore them! And just hope they don't ever have to go through what we have. You can always tell if someone has suffered (with anything devastating) an instant connection. We don't sweat the small stuff anymore!!!!!! Wish I had a great comeback for you!

Ok, I have a good one...A friend(who is a nurse) has irritable bowel syndrome...which in itself can be and is very painful..is always comparing her diesease to mine...saying things like, I know how you feel...or maybe you need to watch your diet more...you shouldnt be eating this or that.
I feel like saying to her...the difference is that once you go to the bathroom, you are fine...I require steroids to heal!
After I told her that I was going to meet with a surgeon to discuss the j-pouch surgery, she said...now don't go and get yourself all excited to have surgery thinking this will be a cure!!!!! Yeah, real exciting having your colon removed when your in your thirties!
I try to let those things roll off and blame it on ignorance!

You're right, Lucy. No one would ever think you'd had surgery at all. Glad to hear you are doing so well!

Kim

P.S. Want to get together for a drink some time?

Thanks for all the funny replies. We do not lack personality!

PS:
Kim,
Good one! We really do need to get together and have dinner.

Lucy

Ahh-the infinate onslaught of insensitivities. Two weeks post-op I had somebody ask if I was an extra for Schindler's List. A few days later someone said "Hey Mr. Burns where's Smithers". I went from 165 lbs to 104 lbs in about a month and a half. I am starting to put on weight again, but I am still very skinny. I can't lift weights for a few more weeks yet. People keep asking "when are you going to bulk up again. Why don't you just eat a bunch of fat and grease." Meanwhile they themselves are living about as unhealthy a lifestyle as I have ever seen, and setting themselves up for disaster. I know they are just being funny and making a little light of a negative situation, but it is still hard for them to understand. I missed a day of work last week due to a night on the porcelin throne, my boss told me "that anybody can find an excuse not to come into work but if I was dedicated like HIM I would go to work even when I didn't want to." I told him I just have to lift up my shirt and see several good excuses not to show up, that he or no one else has.

Oh yes the irritable bowel comparisson. Not to make light of irritable bowel but come on. I have had people say oh you have colitis, so do I. When it turns out they have irritable bowel, I know it drives us nuts, if they had any clue. I ususally say I am so sorry, have you had a lot of blood with your stool? they say oh no and i say well I ahve needed 6 transfusions for the buckets I have poured out in the toilet. OK, so I am usually a little more sensitive.

ANother good one I have an ileostomy and the few people who have found out and are clueless have asked me if I pee in it also. Geez, would I be that sutpid too if I didn't go through it all?