>What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
>The position of the dirt bag.
>Why is divorce so expensive?
>Because it`s worth it.
>What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>Doughnuts.
>Why is air a lot like sex?
>Because it`s no big deal unless you`re not getting any.
>What do you call a smart blonde?
>A golden retriever.
>What do attorneys use for birth control?
>Their personalities.
>What`s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
>45lbs.
>What`s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
>45 minutes.
>What`s the fastest way to a man`s heart?
>Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>What does it mean when the flag at the post office is flying at half mast?
>They`re hiring.
>How do you get a sweet little 80 yr. old lady to say the "F" word?
>Get another sweet little 80 yr. old lady to yell *Bingo*!
What`s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
>A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
>A southern fairytale begins "Y`all ain`t gonna believe this s..t".
>Why do men want to marry virgins?
>They can`t stand criticism.
>Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring and good looking?
>Because those men already have boyfriends.
>What`s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
>After a year,the dog is still excited to see you.
>What makes a man chase women they have no intention of marrying?
>The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
>Why don`t bunnies make noise when they make love?
>Because they have cotton balls.
>What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
>"Are you sure it`s mine?"
>Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>Mace will do that to you.
>Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>Breasts don`t have eyes.
>Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
>He walks around saying,"Yo."
>Where does a Irish family go on vacation?
>A different bar.
Excellent! Thanks for those 
