Ok, so I know that a lot of you have a 'bucket list' (I only heard about that this year) but I kind of have a short list of things that I wanted to 'be able to do' before my 50th...in 4 months.
Dancing was on the list but I have been so terrified to move my body beyond 'reasonable' for so long that I sort of gave up on it...Every time I use my body; gardening, opening gates, deep breathing exercises etc I have ended up back in O.R....kind of discouraging. So Sun. night some friends called us to join them for an outdoor concert by the river...Her hubby grabbed my by the hand and dragged my up to dance...not a slow, but full fledged 'rock and roll', swing and beebop...(I usually look like a lame duck when attempting). Well the first dance I was stiff as a board, holding back and trying to hang on to my abdomen, the second I started to listen to the music while he swung me like a rag doll, by the third I was Dancing.
I actually had fun. I laughted. Hubby looked like a witness to a car accident who can't prevent it from happening but knows the consequences..terrified. I was out of breath and laughing by the end of the night.
Fine, I stayed flat most of the next day from pain but I danced! (may seem like nothing to some but for me it means that I am finally alive again). Pain is gone today but the memory is not...
What next???? Could driving be far off? Or riding a bicycle?
So what is your challenge? What is the thing that you don't dare to do?
Sharon

That's awesome, Sharon!! Doesn't it feel great to just let loose sometimes?! I'm proud of you!!!!

For me, I've realized that the things which I hold myself back in are mostly in my mind, for example, I don't dare to consider myself as a whole, normal, 23 yr old girl, even though I am one. I know that I am one, but everything that I've been through and the loss of an organ just make it harder to consider myself just like everyone else. I think once I make it past that mental block, then I can do anything!

Well, good luck to you, and I hope you daaaance more often!

Hi Dawn,
You are normal (whatever that means!) and the removal of an organ does not change anything...23? Wow! How wonderful! Now is the time to enjoy every option open to you. Dance, sing and go out and have fun...I moved to Paris on my own at 23...I was just about ready for an adventure by then...something that did not include doctors, hospitals, drugs and O.R.s...I did more that yr that the previous 23 combined.
I also ran away to escape all of the people who knew that I was sick, and the 'looks' that they gave me back then.
It may not be in your head but the peoples' heads around you...Give yourself permission to have let go and have fun...you have earned it.
Sharon