it's been an especially bad and painful few days...not looking for any advice but i just want to vent...

im so tired of bum problems.

it's been 11 months straight of pain. every time one problem is resolved, a new one takes its place. it seems like it will never end. first an abcess and surgery, then fistula and surgery, then chronic fissure and muscle spasms, and now new unidentified pain. oh and of course chronic pouchitis/inflammation for the past 3 years on top of that.

each thing on its own seems like no big deal- definitely nothing i would give up a jpouch over. when you add it all together it is getting overwhelming. i would have seriously considered going back to a permanent ileostomy already except each of these problems seems curable if im just patient...so having a big life altering surgery like that seems too drastic for a solution. i really need a break...i have not had one day without pain in almost a year..so depressing. i've sort of put life on hold this whole time. no job the past 11 months, hardly any social outings. i'm just so worn down. im desperate to get better already.

it sucks when you can't use a public washroom and you need to be at home with your sitz bath and creams and take like an hour to go to the bathroom...oh and occasionally pooping= crying and screaming in pain...i don't sleep unless i take tylenol 3 (ive had tylenol 3 only this past few weeks so for about 10 months i couldn't sleep more than 3 hours in a row, on a good night)...i am having more and more trouble with eating foods i love, like fruits and veggies, cuz they irritate so much.

sorry if this post scares anyone newbies...i don't think im the norm...and i love my jpouch and glad i got it, but i've just had an unlucky year i guess...

Niki,

I know what you are speaking of; I went through years of issues but finally decided to pull the plug on the j-pouch. Yes, the surgery to revert back to an ostomy is life-altering, but so are the problems you are having now. You may want to consider diverting the j-pouch (which I did) to see if your issues subside, that is a much less evasive surgery. Then when you feel you have made it past the problems, try and re-connect.

I must say though, you may never want to go back again once an ostomy gets your life back. I have no plans to go back, life is good: http://j-pouch.org/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/5851071921/m/9041037392

Feel free to contact me if you want to talk/email.