I had my first surgery in Feb,09. Takedown was May,09. Had serious rectal pain couldn't go anywhere without a donut seat. I could walk very long or stand very long. It just plain hurt to sit too. Only relief was lying down. Pain meds, and Flagyl and Cipro didn't help. I still had very little stool, and quite frequent and quick trips to the restroom.
I had to drive 2 hours each way every other weekend to get my daughters for their weekend visit. Then take them home on Sunday. All with this moderate to almost severe pain.
I told the surgeon I felt like I had a tennis ball in my butt. He did a finger probe, ct scans, and didn't find anything. He even did an emergency sig scope, and didn't find anything. He was making me believe it was all in my head. To top this all off, I'd call his office and the admin. asst. would never return phone calls. I finally started calling doc through his paging system at the hospital.
Finally in Sept.,09, I had cramps so bad I couldn't walk. I was taken to the local ER, had a tube shoved up my nose and into my stomach. I then was transferred to the hospital 60 miles away where I had my initial surgery. They had to put the bag back on. And they found an abcess where he had connected to my rectum. After 12 days in the hospital(10 on ice chips)I was sent home. After only 2 days I was in severe pain again, and nothing was going into my bag.
So off to the hospital again for 5 days. They pumped some dye for an x-ray into my stoma and it started working. I was in the hospital this time for 5 days.
I went back to work after 6 weeks. And right after Thanksgiving my wife told me that she does not love me anymore. She is done, and there is no working it out.(She claims this because I was complaining of her not giving me any affection) I told her I hurt so bad this whole time, and was quite moody during all of this, but she said it's over.
Imagine, going through all of this, and now I'm feeling good She said good-bye.
Sorry it's so long but I'm quuite torn up at the moment. We stayed together until this week. I was hoping she'd change her mind, but to no avail.

I am so sorry to read this post. How terrible for you! I truly hope that you are feeling better physically now, and that you don't have any more problems. Is this the case? Definitely sounds like time to switch your surgeon -- he does not sound like a winner.

As for your wife.... I don't know what to say. I am so, so sorry. I hope you can find healing from this somehow, and can move on to find a true partner.

Hang in there,
Gin

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry to hear your post!!! I hope things turn better for you both physically and emotionally. Sue

It saddens me to know that women can be so un understanding of real suffering just as men can be. I am very sorry and yet I want you to know that the ability to know what that severe of suffering is like and have the insight into realizing what all goes with it often takes a person to go through some themselves and somehow know that is what your going through.

It can be hard for any relationship in good shape to survive severe illness...so the challenge when the relationship already could use a little healing isn't fair...and I am very sorry you had to have both at once.


If I am reading anything wrong here I apologize and just hope the best for you in the future.

So sorry for all of the rotten hell that you have to go through...nobody should have to be abandoned when they most need the love, affection and understanding from their spouse...so terribly unfair...My Daddy always said that life was not fair and came with no guarentees, but that it was more unfair to some than to others!
Get your body back first....enjoy the healing time to heal your heart as well (and buy a voodoo doll while you are at it? )and once you are really well and on your feet, at the top of your new game...Then let love back in...don't give up on love...and don't believe that we are all so heartless...There are some really wonderful people out there...it just isn't your time to meet them yet...let the healing happen first
And yes...to answer your question...it can always get worse...and often does before it gets better...
Sharon

Thank You all for your encouragement. I really appreciate the people in this forum. Sorry I just found it in December.
Newest news in th emarriage is that she has a girlfriend.......YEA!

((((((((hugs)))))))) Than the marriage failing had nothing to do with you for sure.

(((((big hugs))))

Glad to see another Hoosier J-Poucher here! There are a few of us around here from time to time. Where did you have your surgeries at?

Welcome to the "wonderful world of poop" site.
GO COLTS!!!!!!
David

I'm so sorry.

Geez your story is a sad one that I lived thru too. You are not alone. My hubby (now ex and a doc too) decided to leave me and find another lady friend just when I needed him the most (I nearly died). I feel for you because your body and your heart are suffering and I'm guessing it might feel overwhelming. Please know that you really are not alone and other jpouchers have gone thru the same thing, unforturnately. This is a great site to unload with others who really do understand what it is to deal with such pain. Hugs and you are not a loser.
sarah

Hate to hear that you had to go through this. I feel almost identical to you in the same situation. I have had those pains you describe since my take down and cannot return to work. It is so annoying and just unbearable. Did you ever find any relief or answers. The doctors are no help at all.

I understand about the relationship as well. You can really see the true colors of people when you are sick. Had to do a move recently, and moved items with my father-in-law just standing there watching complaining about being tired. Had to clean the whole house by myself. Now I am definitely paying with so much pain, can barely get out of bed. My wife is now talking about if I can be sent to a rehab center. It is just so lonely to go through this alone.