Hi Holly,
Please give this message to Chris for me,

I learned along time ago to take care of #1, (MY SELF) if you don't do it nobody else can do it for you, the people that love you can be there to help pick up the pieces and have there hearts hurting along the way. My illness, surgeries and sometimes stuborness not only affected me but it hurt my wife and family.

Chris, take care of yourself, you are #1 !!!

........Don

Holly
I know you are getting a ton of posts and that just shows all the support for you and chris... I cant add anything besides I am here if you need to talk and my prayers and with you.. Stick in there kiddo!

Thanks to everyone again.
I am in tears now and ready to pack my stuff. I need to take care of myself and not being here is the only way.
I may not have internet for awhile,but when I do I will get back on.

Maybe a "Holly-day" is the answer. Pack a lunch, some beach towels, put a bathing suit under your clothes and head for some place pretty for the day. Try to think happy thoughts/memories. You deserve a day of peace.

Yep, I agree. Sometimes we just need to break away so we can return with a fresh look and not be so wrapped up in it.

You can't be super-mom 24/7 without it taking a toll.

Take care, and enjoy!

Jan

There's nothing to enjoy.
We can't live together any longer and he obviously has nowhere to go.
So, looks like I have to leave.

Holly, sorry for all that is happening. Sometimes a sterile environment is the best thing for our own sanity. Stay safe and take care.

Are you saying you are not just taking a holiday from Chris, but moving out and allowing him to take over your home? Seems pretty drastic. Is there any other family members he can crash with until he gets his act together?

Oh, well, you know what will work and what won't...

I am so sorry that things escalated into something so insurmountable. Keep in touch if you can.

Jan

I am a mess.
I feel what you said Jan. I don't want to allow him to take over the house but we are all at war here and everyone's health and sanity are at stake.
I wish I had better coping skills. I wish I had better parenting skills.
I have a bad temper and Chris does too.
He scares me sometimes. So much anger all aimed at me.
Can Cipro do this?
I remember Flagyl making me nasty many years ago.
Thanks everyone for being here.

Holly,

I'm so sorry for your situation.

Yes, CIpro can affect the central nervous system and create changes in behavior. The drs generally won't admit this, but hte manufacturer will. And the manufacturer will say that it can happen in only 4 weeks (which is how long the drug has been officially tested).

I took 1000mg of Cipro every day for 3 1/2 years (a few drops in dose here and there when trying to wean off, but never went a day without it during that time). It wasn't until 2 years in that I started to acknowledge the behavioral changes my family notice much earlier. It wasn't until I was finally off of it that I really understood how much the drug was affecting my decisions and personality.

Anytime my family suggested the drug might be part of the problem I would snap at them that that couldn't be the issue, the drs said so. All I can tell you is that when I got miserable enough, I was willing to consider that the drug was part of the problem. In my case, it definitely was. I know none of this really helps at the moment, but I wanted to let you know you weren't wrong in thinking some of Chris' problem could be coming from the Cipro.

I think if you have a volatile personality in the first place, it probably doesn't take much to send you over the edge. Plus, it is fairly well known that Cipro can affect the central nervous system. I am not so sure about Flagyl, as I think it's bigger effect is on the peripheral nervous system. However, I am sure that it probably can have similar effects in the right (or wrong) person. Has he been on Cipro before?

Jan

No cipro except IV in hospital once and it made him sick so he calls it allergy when they admit him.

Holly,
I feel so bad for your situation. I hope a little time away from one another will help calm the waters. Maybe without you as a safety net, he will start to take matters into his own hands. He's old enough and you need to take care of yourself as well. You can't help others until you can take care of yourself.
Best of luck Holly,
I really hope things improve,
Cheryl

Holly,

I recalled reading this article in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution a few weeks ago. It made me think that some of what is contained in this article may be helpful to your situation with Chris. While the root of your problem sounds very different than what the Brocard family experienced, some of the behavioral problems demonstrated by Chris might have some similarities. Perhaps reading it will provide you with a useful or applicable idea for your situation with Chris.
AJC Article

Thanks for sharing that.
You are right that some of the behaviors are there but Chris is going to be 21 soon. Not a minor living at home and has serious health issues.
Today is a better day. We tried talking a little bit. He is going to the counselor next Friday, soonest available. He asked to go. We had offered over the past 4 years and he was unwilling.
It's a step in the right direction.
He is frustrated and so are we.
This has beena arollercoaster ride for 4 years now and we never know when to expect the big dip.
We are all hanging on for our lives.
I am not volatile, jsut Italian quick temper, impulsive. I am sleep deproved with Chris getting up during the night I hear everything. Sometimes he needs an extra hand so I am unable to fall back asleep after that.
I am lucky to have a good J pouch!What on earth would I do if we both had problems?