This is really hard for me to explain without having aFULL FLEGED ATTACK OF FREAKING TOURETTES. Oh my GOD shes so dumb. For some reason, my school nurse hates me. I've treated her with nothing but respect during my three years at Nashoba. This all started with the kidney stones thing. She didn't believe me that they were causing me pain, and thought I just didn't feel like being in school. Ok, so whatever, she doubted me. She had no concrete evidence I had actual pain. Whatever, thats fine. But then on my birthday in March, I came in because I was BLEEDING FROM MY ANUS. I told her this, and she goes "Go lay down." She wouldn't call my mom so I could go home. So I went to lay down, and after about one whole minute, I got up and explained to her that laying down is pure b**ll**** and left the room. She yelled at me down the hallway and I yelled back about how laying down is going to do absolutely nothing when my intestines are bleeding. So I went to the office, and they realized that she is a joke, so they had me sent home. Then today, I went in again because I have an anal fissure that is REALLY bothering me. I brought her into the private room so I could let her know, because well, thats private. So she says ok, and she calls me mom. She goes into the MIDDLE of the office to call my mom and ANNOUNCES that I have an anal fissure and its causing me great discomfort. TALK ABOUT A BREACH OF CONFIDENTIALITY! NOT TO MENTION THAT THERE WERE 2 OTHER STUDENTS AND A JANITOR IN THE ROOM!

THIS WOMAN DRIVES ME NUTS! ITS PEOPLE LIKE HER THAT MAKE LIVING WITH A CHRONIC DISEASE ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE!

I would definately have your mother have a conference with the nurse and school board personnel. You are a special case, not just some kid who whines. You DO deserve dignity, especially in high school when the other kids can be very cruel.

I absolutely second that. Your mom/dad/ parents or whoever that is a guardian should demand to have a conference with her and administration at the very least. Schools tend to be more helpful when they're involved. Unfortunately too, even when you get to college you're prob still going to need help of your parents to fight these kinds of battles. I'm almost 21 and my mom still needs to have fights with health services and residential life here on my campus for example on basic things like so I can get appropriate housing. My campus has "communal" bathrooms with the exception of one room which until my mom stepped in they were refusing to give me, arguing "what's wrong with having to carry a package of wipes and desitin into a public bathroom 6-8 times a day?" There are alot of buzz words you need to use with these types of people such as you have a form of a "disability" etc. Even if you use buzz words that make them think you've got lawsuits on your mind (not that you even have to, but as long as its conveyed how unhappy you all are with the situation...) It sucks you have to have things dramatized to them to understand but in my experiences it's the only thing that works. Some people are just way too dense for their own good and I hope it all works out with you !

I am sorry for your experience. A school nurse is no different than a nurse at a doctor's office and should be held to the same confidential standards.

With that said, I do have to object to your phrasing. "without having aFULL FLEGED ATTACK OF FREAKING TOURETTES." I know you were upset but what you said was very hurtful to me and would be to anyone else who happens to have Tourettes. I was diagnosed with this condition when I was 5 years old and have been very fortunate to grow out of MOST of my tics. People seem to see folks with TS as freaks that twitch and mumble when this condition is just as much of a disability as Crohns or Colitis can be. I know individuals that are housebound because of this. This phrasing to me is that same as someone making a diaper joke about someone with chronic UC or even pouchitis that cannot always control the leakage/accidents.

I know you were upset and did not mean or maybe even realized what you were saying, but please try to consider other people's feelings when saying things like this!

Ick, I feel your pain!

I have memories of being at school in a class with the outdoor ed. teacher talking about the two week long camp/hike that was coming up. I can't remember why, but he ended up asking me something about it and when I said I wasn't going (which had already been organised) he argued with me in front of everyone about why I wasn't going. I was at the point of tears, explaining that I was sick (trying to avoid words like 'colon' and 'diarrhea' in front of my classmates!) but he kept going. Eventually another girl in my class came to my defense. Not even a friend, just random classmate!

That guy was an ****-hole. On an earlier camp, he made the group get up at dawn to run around the oval. When an over-weight girl lagged behind, he turned the hose on her. Seriously.

Unfortunately, some people can be that way. But usually through educating them, with your parents if necessary, they can understand the situation better and therefore react better.

Good luck with it.

I'm stealing this line from 'Malcom in the Middle', but whatever ... The good thing about high school is that at some point it ends!

ugh,I know exactly how you feel, my high school nurse was terrible and broke confidentiality laws as well!

she even mentioned on several occasions about not wanting to lose her nursing license, what did that have to do with anything?! As if she was doing me a favor by treating my full blown UC, ugh.

I agree with the Malcom in the Middle line! High school is difficult enough without having UC/ ostomy/pouch.

School nurses can just be burnt out from dealing with "fakers" all day. I would definitely document the problems you are encountering. Your parents should then confernce with her and a school administrator.

Schools have funding dedicated specifically for disability services, take advantage of it. I am aware of some classrooms that have cameras in them and pretty much webcast to the student who is homebound.

I hope you find someone who will work with you so you don't have to feel worse just by going to the nurse.

Hey Chelsea, how about the following plan: you lace the nurse's coffee with enough laxative to clear a horse's guts in 10 seconds, then chain her to her desk, tell her to imagine feeling like this all day and every day, and the you lock the door as you leave?! That'd teach her what it's like to have gut trouble.
Not possible, I know...but we can dream, right?

I am glad i spotted your e-mail and would like to respond with a solution. i can speak at length regarding your concerns because i am a fellow j-poucher and i also happen to be a school nurse. maintaining student confidentiality is essential whatever field of nursing you are in.
Please go on line and educate yourself about section 504. you can also access your state Office of Civil Rights. you are entitled to a 504 plan because you have a 'disability' or medical condition that effects your activity of daily living. this written plan is legal and binding and allows you certain guarantees while in school. I have utilized this type of document for multiple students with medical issues ranging from diabetes to severe asthma...
This form would serve as something similar as a Nursing Care Plan that outlines your condition and any accomodations you may need. You can simply have the nurse write a Nursing Care Plan for you but in this situation i think you would get more with a 504. you would meet with the administrator and the nurse your parents to develop the plan. you can ask for things like bathroom priveledges, being able to call your mom and discuss things....
i would definitely write a letter to your administrator and school superintendent. you can also access your state Board of Registered Nursng and file a complaint.
I am sorry this happened to you. Get the support of your parent and or an advocate. Handle yourself with dignity and be respectful. Make an appointment at your school and outline those things you need in place so you can remain in school.
good luck. let me know if there is anything else i can help you with.
JA

Ja- I've had a 504 plan since the day I walked into that school. You see, I would complain...but I don't think it would be enough to get her fired. And if she wasn't fired...then she would make my life miserable for complaining about her. She's just one of those people who clearly has never had any type of medical problems and should never have gotten into nursing because she doesn't have the empathy to deal with sick people. I just feel like saying ANYTHING would fan the flames.

Ayrish- I really am sorry. That was just a spur of the moment I'm-so-mad-I-dont-care-what-anyone-thinks type of thing.

Soph- that made my day.

Chels, some people just don't fit the mold of a nurse and should have chosen a different occupation. I see it every day. She also needs an education on the HIPAA laws.

However, I think calling a conference and getting your folks involved will help this situation. Kar is right in that she probably sees students everyday who have a belly-ache so they can skip the test in Biology kinda scenario.

She is just one person, don't let her bother you too much. And please don't lace her coffee with laxatives!

Chelsea, I also agree that letting this go would be worse than fanning the flames. If you back down, things may just get worse because the nurse will act as if it was not important after all because you did not pursue it. If you have a 504 plan, then it either needs to be enforced or revised if it does not cover your needs. I know that you would love to get this nurse fired, but that should not be your goal. Your goal should be to get what you need, despite a school nurse who appears to have forgotten her calling.

Here is where it gets hard. You are the kid, but you really are the one with the insight into your needs. Even though the nurse is in the position of authority, you can still get your needs taken care of. But, you also have to come half way. You can't swear at her or treat her with disrespect. If she treats you with disrespect, try to stay calm and just walk out and have a pow-wow with the principal or vice-principal. It is the principal's job to make sure your plan is carried out. Get your parents involved. If the nurse is that rigid and you cannot affect change in her, then cut her out of the loop. If you feel ill, skip the nurse and just ask to call home. You are old enough now that it should be an option for you.

There are always ways to deal with situations by being assertive without being agressive. You've made it this far...

Jan

I love how others think they know if we are in pain or not man this type of post drives me nuts hearing how stupid nurses and people can be.

Some doctors are no differnt I yell and say are you me can you feel what the heck I feel grrr this just angers me people are so stupid and I agree with all of the above.

Hi Chelsea,
Hehe, yeah, revenge is the feeling closest to my heart when I'm mad at the world and want to rant. I'm not very mature like that Being trodden on brings out my less-than-adult sides! Hence my childish satisfaction in imagining wielding some laxative (cruel chuckle). But I agree with the others; one of the best pieces of advice I've ever been given is the following: "Be the better person". I think about it a lot when I feel like exploding at someone. It's insane that you, as the child in this situation, have to teach a grown woman how she should be behaving, but that's how it is. I hope that you manage to assert your rights - you're a survivor, so you'll make it through this too. And that stupid nurse is just a blip on the landscape that is your life. If you think of all the millions of people you'll meet in your lifetime, she's just grain of sand on the beach.

Personally, I don't think that people are stupid or even mean. I really think that they just cannot relate, imagine, or whatever the term is. It's like there is no way I can ever expect a man to fully understand what labor pain is like. But, what amazes me is how much variation there is in people's ability to empathize with other people. They can have all sorts of warm fuzzies about a mistreated dog, but no emotion whatsoever about a mistreated person?!

Jan