It seems that once again I`ve offended a member on this forum with one of my imflammatory posts.First I`d like to apologize to this member if I upset her in any way,I just didn`t like the way you came across in your post of being neglected and unappreciated, all I was trying to do was stick up for you.It seems that I don`t know the right words to use to get my message across,maybe my not graduating from highschool is really starting to show.I`m too tired and sick to try and defend my self anymore. I just write what I feel at that moment.I `ve said this now too many times on this site. I have never willfully and maliciously try to hurt someone with one of my posts and I never would!All I`m trying to say is that I will never ever post another reply on this forum I`m just too hurt, I know that I`ve said this before but this time I`ve really been rocked to my core.I`ve tried to be nothing but supportive and caring to each amd every member in replying or answering their concerns but it seems that quite a few members feel differently.I don`t know why but this latest attack on my character makes me feel all dirty and evil for some reason.I remember being reprimanded once for posting a imflammatory responce in the General Discussion section so I thought I`d better stick to the Rant and Rave section where I though there was a little more free speech but once again I`ve been proven wrong.I stand by my over 700 posts because they were all done with a kind and caring heart and I am so proud of this fact!I know what kind of person I am and I don`t need someone trying to make me out to be something I`m not Hurtful and Uncaring! BTW I don`t know if anyone is keeping tabs but I think I just set a record on this board.In just under 2 days I`ve had 2 posts banned go figure.
P.S. I `d really would appreciate it if no one replyed to this post.End of topic let`s all get back to what really matters on this forum.To one and all health and happiness.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Copperhead>,

I know Emilio didn't want anyone responding but I feel I have to. Emilio is absolutely correct - he has never willfully or maliciously tried to hurt anyone. He tries to only offer help and support with a kind and caring heart. The problem with 'reading' something is that one cannot see a face or hear an inflection to a voice. I know that some of Emilio's posts may sound less than supportive, but since I've 'known' him on this site, I only seen the supportive side.

I also understand why Bill has to remove posts. When that 'reading' is misunderstood, Bill needs to make a judgement call. It's Bill's site, and he gets to do whatever he feels is necessary to maintain calm and order. That can't be an easy job - trying to satisfy us masses. But he does it with much grace and style.

I'm sorry to see Emilio go. And I'm sorry that Bill has to monitor us. And finally, I'm sorry Emilio, that I'm not listening to you and I'm posting anyway (even though you're gone.... )

kathy

Emilio has resigned his membership to our site.
I did delete a couple of his posts and sent him an explanation as to why. I told him it was no big deal and I do this all the time.
I also asked him to think about his resignation for a few days before I took him off the board but he insisted I remove him.
I know Emilio was misunderstood at times and I thank him for his contributions.
Bill

I agree. I am sorry to see him go, particularly feeling so misunderstood and hurt. But, he made it clear to me that he has too much pain and sickness in his life to get so emotionally wrapped up in this place. What I hope is that he is just taking a vacation and will later re-register when his life is more stable.

Jan

I also feel bad that Copperhead has left, I have noticed that many of the people who used to post are no longer here. I have no idea what he said but find it hard to beleive he would intentionally write anything to hurt someone, Sometimes when responding to a post things can become misconstrued, and someone gets upset, I have often felt that when responding to a post one should have a "disclaimer" before each sentence, as to this is what worked for me, "It may or may not work for you." I think the forum has gone in a direction where help is not really the concern, it is more on what they want to hear, and should one write their opinion, hope it is not taken the wrong way years ago when I needed help (and I got it) it was straight forward, I was not worried about getting my feeling hurt. As I stated I have no Idea of what Copperhead said, but I took him to be a nice, caring, person. but if he abused the forum, well!! I will have to look but what the purpose of the "Rant and Rave Section? maybe it should be done away with. Just my opinion, Den

I believe copperheads problems were related more to going off topic than anything else. I am quite liberal in allowing opinions as long as they are related to surgery.
I try to make the rules of this site pretty clear and I encourage everyone to read them from time to time. http://j-pouch.org/eve
One more thing. There is always much discussion and peace-making on my part behind the scenes before anyone is banned form the site.
Bill

I hope Emilio reconsiders. Like everyone here, he is a valuable part of our community. He has provided advice and support and a sense of humour and I will miss that if he chooses to stay away. Regardless of his decision I will always wish him the best and hope that any issues in his life resolve quickly and for the better.

Suzanne

I've only been posting since January, and if I recollect correctly, Copperhead was the first to welcome me.

I for one find his spontaneity refreshing - we need more characters!!!

David

Emilio,
I hope you check in and read all of these posts.
I wish you the best of health and happiness and I'm sorry for all the misunderstandings with communication. I know you've always wanted to help everyone on this site.
I hope you'll come back soon.

Kathy is absolutely right about how reading something can be taken the wrong way. When you can't see or hear someone this is very easy to do. I know that I love to be sarcastic or funny when I talk to people but I would never do that here. I certainly don't want to offend anyone. I would really like to know what copperhead said to be misunderstood. I really wish people on here would chill out a little bit and not become so defensive and combative. Even if someone intentionally types something to offend you or take you to task on something, we are all adults. We are all here for a common reason. Chill out and don't take it so personally. This type of stuff has been happening too much lately and as a result we are not graced with the presence of people like copperhead or jason. I loved reading posts from copperhead because he was always so supportive and had a great sense of humor despite having such a rough time with his health. If I was ever offended by something someone wrote on here I would PM them in a respectful manner and make sure I didn't take anything the wrong way and resolve it privately. It just seems like some people come here looking for a fight and can't seem to have enough drama in their life. Disclaimer- I am not attacking anyone personally- just a general observation

Everyone should read Bill's post.

I'll miss Copperhead. He had good days, joking and offering support to others and bad days, when things seemd to be weighing him down. Like most of us, I assume! I've seen people take offence at posts when I've thought "heh? What?!" but then it IS easy to misunderstand humour as sarcasm or spite. I hope I've never offended anyone with my language or with the content of my posts. How do you know if a post you've written has been banned?

You know because it gets deleted. It does not mean YOU are banned, like when you correct your child it means you are unhappy with the behavior, not him as a person.

We all make mistakes. We all say dumb things from time to time.

One thing I would like to ask in general is that unless a post is patently offensive (vulgar, extremely inflammatory, or an obvious ad), try sending a private message to the writer, respectfully telling your issues. I think it is better for Bill to not have to "police" posts as much, plus I think it gives the writer a chance to edit his post before it becomes a big issue. I never find any harm in giving the benefit of the doubt.

Jan

I agree that we as readers need to give a little leeway and not get overly sensitive, but I also believe that posters have a responsibility to keep their responses relevant, compassionate and on point. Communication is a two way street. A lot of these responses seem to imply that people felt Copperhead intentionally offended or upset them - just because someone is upset by a post, doesn't mean they think the poster intentionally upset them.