I don't complain about my life. I think I am positive about my j pouch. I have found lately though that I am eating alot more than I ever did and I have gained 13 lbs this past month. Of course I am frequenting the bathroom more too.
I also used to sleep 5-6 hrs and now I sleep like 8!Old age I guess.
It's not like I couldn't stand to gain a few lbs but I am experiencing other problems I think because of the extra weight like my worn rotator cuff is causing me unbearable pain.

My family is really clueless as to what my life is like.
I don't play a martyr but I just keep on keepin on.
I just needed to vent and I know you all know that my bum is feeling the pain too. Noone else would get it.

Sorry you are feeling down Holly. EVeryone needs to crash sometime and you've had more on your plate this year than most with Chris' situation as well as your own. Don't beat yourself up for feeling this way - ride it out and know that if no one else gets it, we surely do.

Can you treat yourself to something special this week as a pick me up? Sending you a cyber hug.

I think I gained 60 lbs since summer with my fistula, failed repair, temp ileo, and this recent repair attempt.

Granted, I tend to have ups and downs in my weight.

I think you should be a little more open with your family. Mom's the the real troopers of the family, they take care of us dads and the kids, and it seems like they don't get to be sick or have bad times. Not that you are looking for praise from your family, but they would probably really appreciate all you do for them if they knew how much you are suffering or put aside for them.

I hope things turn up for you, as you know, I've been going through depression and still am to a point, but I'm keeping in my mind there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Big D,

I bet 13 lbs looks good on you!
I'd love to sleep 8 hours (and not 5-6)

I think that sometimes our"normal" changes and then we have a new "normal". This could be happening to you Holly.

The rotator cuff you should probably see your doc about. Maybe it is really aggravated.

And sometimes it's OK to let our family members know we are not 100% and if they are able to, they need to pitch in! It comes with the 'family membership'

It's amazing what we can get used to. I know what you mean about your family not really knowing what your life is like. If I complained about everything we deal with on a daily basis I would bore myself. So we just suck it up and deal with it. But it is okay to let them know you're having a rough time of it. If you're not a complainer then they'll be more likely to sit up and take notice if you ever should voice a complaint.
I hope your bum feels better soon

Shoulder x ray says no shoulder problem. He thinks pinched nerve in my neck. MRI next week will tell more, until then the pain is so bad I want to cry!

Holly,sorry to hear you are in pain and a bit down,i see you on here all the time with advise for everyone and support even though you have a lot of issues with your own problems and supporting Chris too,hope you get some releif soon from your pain and life treats you a little kinder keep smiling ,hugs coming your way from me and my wife Cathy,all the best
kennie

Negative x-rays are pretty meaningless and only mean you do not have a broken bone or osteoarthritis. Tendinitis or bursitis wouldn't show up. Your symptoms are the diagnostic thing. I am sure the MRI will show something. I guess that is something for me to be grateful for with my AS. If I am having persistent joint pain, I don't have to wait for a bunch of diagnostics. I just contact my rheumy and go in for a steroid injection within a few days.

Even moms feel crummy at times.

Jan

Hi Holly,

I'm so sorry you're not feeling 100% at the moment. You have been so strong throughout all that Chris has gone through and I guess the stress had to catch up with you sometime.

I know it's easier said than done when you're told to take care of yourself as well as the person you are caring for. I'm both a carer (my Mum) and patient and it can wear one down because when the carer has a problem, who do they turn to? Well for what it's worth, you have all of us on this wonderful site and although I don't really have much in the way of advice I'd just like to add my support and best wishes that you feel better soon.

Hugs

Shell

Holly,
I too am sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. I hope that it's nothing serious with your shoulder and you can find some way to relieve the pain. You are so helpful to people on this site, you have a nature of being a selfless giver. I agree that you need to explain to your family that you are not a super hero and a little help might be needed. Take time and do something for yourself, even if only for an hour, you deserve it!

Hope you feel better soon!

Thanks to all. I will get to the bottom of my pain. Once the MRI says something I can deal with it, acupuncture is my current thought.
I use a heating pad and I still take my klonopin so at least I sleep!
I guess I didn't say anything since it wasn't IBD related but my husband had double bypass xmas day.Stress? Caregiver? Who?Moi?
I had the 5 gray hairs washed away today, I am the only one who notices them!LOL
Chris is going to his first music fest next week, 4 days. I have to say I have trepidations but I have to let him fly on his own, I am scared with the K pouch still so new and camping out which he has never done. I don't know how well I will sleep next week.
You are all so wonderful and I want you to know how much it means to me when you respond with so many kind words.
I am a superhero, aren't I? I just don't get paid the salary, it's all altruistic volunteer work!
Thanks again

Hi Holly, I just wanted to second everyone else's comments that it's definitely okay to feel sorry for yourself every now and then. And you sound like you are suffering so you have a good reason! I've read a lot of your posts and you definitely sound like a super-hero to me. You offer a lot of good and positive advice to people on this site and you have also been amazing in everything that Chris has gone through. Not to mention your own experiences and surgeries, and your husband's too!
I hope your tests go okay and they can figure out and 'fix' you so you are back to feeling good.

Sweetie...after all you've been through over the past year it's a wonder your arms haven't fallen off! Don't be so critical of yourself...you're still a very attractive woman (and you know I'm telling the truth, I'm gay, remember??LOL!)...hang in there honey, and let me know how you're feel, ok????

Love and hugs,
Eric

PS - as for the eating, as with most people, it's probably stress related...once Chris starts school (and once he decides where he's going)..I'll bet you'll start eating less and feeling better!

You know how people read between the lines? I am reading you want to adopt Chris!
Maybe the stress is scramble related-I hate losing!
Thanks darling for your kind words and support. You put a smile on my wrinkled face.
I moved the MRI up to tomorrow and follow up for results Tuesday. For once I put Chris's lasik consult off for a few weeks to take care of me.
Thanks Pixie, I wish I could do more for me. I have always been a giver. I get so much more satisfaction.