Ok, I know that this is quite a bit premature but I must ask the question....how do you feel about your stoma?
I have had one for nearly 30 years....the first 20 it was is tne 'usual' place, over the appendix, to the right, about mid point between the belly button and the pubis...then I had it for 5 years just slightly down and to the right of the belly button and in the 'middle' of my abdomen , I wasn't too pleased about that for lots of reasons not the least that it made intubation a nightmare because it was just in the middle of my spare tire and I couldn't see it well, it moved around ( jiggled ) and made dressing really difficult (long before lowrise pants!) and now my darling little stoma is no longer so little and in right in the pubic hair, really low down, I mean LOW.
Ok, I am still praying daily for the whole thing to work and holding my breath for another few months before I pronounce success...but I just want to know how you all deal with 'exposing' it to you significant other and the 'public' at large...gyms and such....
I can't really put a patch on it for those intimate moments ( not unless I shave off all of my pubic hair! )because it is really down there! and I am not really sure of the reaction that I am going to get when he finally sees it....no I haven't shown him yet ....still have a gaping abdomen that takes priority here...but it has been over 4 weeks and I am getting nervous here...I know that 'normal' people have an anus down there and have no difficulty in exposing it to their partners so I should really not give a flea about it all, but still...
So, if you have opinions or ideas or just some kind words...let me hear them.
Sharon

I've been trying to figure out how to respond to this.

My stoma is in a good spot. I have no "exposure" concerns.

I don't expose it to the public so that never was a problem. You may have to shave...or do some other hair removal. I'll keep on thinking

Ok, So I bought myself a 'self waxing kit' to be able to wax around the stoma but I am a bit scared ( I normally wax my bikini line and legs) but I am afraid that the stoma secretion is going to cause irritation after the waxing..or worse..bumps, or cysts or ingrowns...that is really not the place that I want to have problems!
I don't have the courage to have my stoma waxed by a professional and I am not even sure that they would do it...
I will wait a while until the whole area is healed but I must admit that it is rather strange to have it there (let my poor little stoma stay healthy !)and the fur does not help the cleanliness issue...it collects stuff...
So..I am up for suggestions...the advantage is that I can now wear a tiny little string bikini bottom....everything is hidden behind it...although I doubt that I will ever wear one in public....it is nice to think that I could if I wanted to...
The stoma nurse suggested that waxing would keep it cleaner but I am just uncertain...
Keep up the suggestions
Sharon

Sharon,
Have you ever used hair removal creams such as Nair? It could be a good way to remove the hair without the risk of 'injuring' the skin; I believe with waxing it can remove a layer of skin as well, I've sometimes been really sensitive after waxing.
Laser hair removal is another option although it's a bit expensive and I don't know if it would be an issue being right beside your stoma. I did 3 sessions of lasering and think it's great.
For intimate times crotchless panties could be a good option, that way your stoma will be underwraps. I hope you can find something that works for you and makes you comfortable, good luck.

thanks Pixie,
I had thought about the panties but have no idea where to get them here in France...(I know, seems silly, doesn't it!)
I may just sacrifice a pair or two to experimentation...
As for the nair...I fear the strength of the chemicals almost as much as the wax....I still have time...not all of the sutures are out from around the stoma...won't do it for a while yet...
New problem though, I am leaking around the tube when I intubate...
First just a few drops or just air...but more stuff and more and more frequently...plus stoma pain...
I wrote to Dr. C about yesterday and am waiting for a response....
It is not over yet apparently....
Sharon

Hi Sharon,

Although Wee Willie isn't actually down "there" he is very low for an end ileo and the wafer overlaps my pubic hair by about 2 inches. I have to shave every time I change my wafer or else I would be giving myself a "waxing" too, plus the wafer would leave a lot of residue in with the hairs. It also make mopping up if Wee Willie starts to spew mid wafer change a lot easier as it prevents poo getting caught in the hair. Then of course there's issue of the wafer not sticking if I don't shave.... anyway, you get the picture.

I have found that the kindest way to get rid of the unwanted hair is to use an electric ladyshave. It doesn't disturb the hairs like a bic razor would so I've never had to deal with any skin probles such as ingrown hairs or cysts etc.

I'm sure you'll figure out the best solution for you eventually.

Take care.

Shell

Thanks Shel,
Well.. at least I am not alone...yes, the thought of using a patch directly on the hair is not a pleasant one I already dealth with the tape issues in the clinique...ouch!
Yes, I am getting leakage into the pubic hair and it takes more effort to clean it...electric? I never even thought of it....maybe...
I am starting to think about semetry...maybe a nice design??? ...shave a flower into it or something at least my spirt is still with me...Nice to think about things other than O.R and I.V. and the other nasty initials....
food is fine as I am being reasonable and so is the liquid intake, I just have to get my strength up without gaining weight....that is a fatal flaw of mine...
But thanks..I will steal my hubby's electric and try it while he isn't looking!!!
Sharon

P.S....I almost forgot....how about a garter belt? Not thekind that you put around the leggs but a sex one that goes around the lower abdoemn over the pubic area, you know, the kind that holds stockings up?????
Maybe I could cut off the stocking holders and use it as a camoflage technique???????
Sharon

After all that you and your husband have been through, why is the sight of your stoma such a big deal to you?
I do agree that keeping it shaved would be better for cleanliness and adhesion of a patch.

It is not a big deal for anyone.....except me. I have always been embarassed, uncomfortable, prudish, shy etc....
doesn't matter that he has seen it all or that he loves me...It is me!
He just wants me healthy! I want me healthy and a little pretty too....I need to feel a little feminine and coquettish too...just me...that's the way that I am....so I am self conscious about it...but yes, I have found that shaving is a good idea for the moment but I think that a healthy and happy stoma that holds up and works great would be the best turn on of them all!
Sharon

I do understand how you feel about your stoma. That is why you have been fighting so hard to keep the K Pouch. There are many of us out here who have been rooting for you to win the fight.
Larry

Thanks Larry, Holly and all of you...
I saw the French surgeon yesterday and he thinks that everything is going well, not to worry too much and to try to stay calm and enjoy life
I will do my best.....Going to eurodisney fri. with the kids and grandkids for a special day (and night, I can't do the trip and the park all in one day!) so if you see a funny pair of ears appear on this sight, it is that my stoma has finally met Mickey!
wish us both luck
sharon

I have a loop ileo pretty much just to the right of my belly button and since I was blessed with a bit of a hairy stomach I have to shave under my wafer and most of my happy trail. I just use my beard trimmer to shave around real quick. Just a small pair of shears. I still have hair that gets yanked out every time I change my wafer but I wait over a week to change at times. If I change every 3-5 days like I probably should it would be better. When I go visit my friends at college its at the beach and I have to turn them down every time they go as I am self conscious of my bag. I guess I could keep my shirt on but I would just as soon not deal with it. Best of luck and happy healing!

Why don't you try an old fashioned swimmers suit from the 20's, you know the muscle man one piece type of thing???? It could even be a fashion statement and be rather original?
that way you could beach too and not show what you wish to hide??????
I am getting used to mine day by day and have finally shown my hubby rather discretely....no response which for him means it is good....
Thanks for logging in and on
sharon