I'm 31 and had my j-pouch surgery done in 2001. I have been thinking a lot about having kids lately and whether or not my body can handle it. I know from the posts that physically, it should be no problem to carry the baby (assuming I can get pregnant once I start trying) but I was wondering how everyone has done since their babies have been born.

When I have a pouchitis flair-up it sends me into total exhaustion. I can't imagine being able to effectivly take care of a baby while feeling so tired. I have wanted to be a mom my whole life but I don't want to bring a baby into the world that I will not be able to care for the way he or she should be cared for.

If anyone has any insight on this issue, I would appreciate it.

Hey Cathy, Don't let this stop you from being a Mum if that's what you've always wanted. Life brings no guarantees. A perfectly healthy person can't promise their kids that they'll never get ill. All my problems started after I'd had my 2 kids. I still think I'm a good Mum, though! I may be ill in periods, but my children know I love them very much and am never too ill to nag them like I usually do .Fertility is apparently compromised after j-pouch surgery, so if you can get pregnant I'd say go for it and have children.

Hi Cathy, I have a baby girl who is five months and can tell you that I have felt great since we have had her. I think in some way she is a good distraction - she is the focus of my life and my issues have become secondary. She was a long time coming between TTC,IVF, a failed adoption and finally a successful adoption so she has given me a renewed sense of life. The times when I am tired I just look into her loving eyes or see that beautiful smile and feel like the luckiest person person in the world!!

I agree with Soph and say go for it - it is the most rewarding experience ever!

I say go for it, too. My son is four months old, not to mention that I am no spring chicken at 40, but like the others, I find that I am doing just fine! I also have ankylosing spondylitis that has been quiet for months but is flaring now that the pregnancy hormones have left my body. I'm still able to take care of my son, work full-time and he is exclusively breastfed. I think there is something about being a parent that gives you superhuman endurance.

I'll admit that at times during the first few months, I didn't think I would survive the sleep deprivation, but that happens to all new parents, not just j-pouchers or people with chronic illnesses. My son still wakes twice a night to be fed, and I recently returned to work, but somehow, I manage and I am happier than I've ever been. I think you'd probably be fine, too. After all, if it wasn't survivable, no one would ever have a second child!

Good luck no matter what you decide.

While I agree with the others that this isn't a reason by itself not to have children, you should think about how you want to go about it...

For example, if you plan to return to work, that will mean a different kind of organization and planning and potential opportunities for exhaustion. What kind of support system do you have? Does your partner work long hours or have flexibility to be home if needed? If you plan to stay home, what resources do you have to support you in that (believe it or not, it can be a real challenge being home, though I wouldn't trade it for the world).

I haven't had issues with exhaustion per se, but have had days when I haven't felt 100% due to a cold or flu. It can be scary sometimes if you are home alone with a young child and don't feel right, especially with our histories. I think, though, that if you plan in advance how you would handle such issues, it should be workable.

I just had to ask myself all these same things as we decided on whether or not to try for a second child. We're going forward with an embryo transfer next week, so clearly I didn't let these issues stop me!

Cathy,

This should not at all be a deciding factor to have children or not. Nothing in life has guarantees. I have a friend who gets frequent migraine headaches, (has to take medication to sleep for hours). When she doesn't feel well her husband has to take care of the kids. She wouldn't trade those kids in for anything. My cousin has diabetes with two kids, and not always feeling 100%. Nobody feels 100% all the time, but if you want those children, you should have them. You'll always figure out some way to take care of them. Once you see them there's no love like it!!

I've had 2 kids post j-pouch, the oldest is now 11. I nursed them each for at least a year and a half. Somehow I had enough energy to provide for them and myself. For me, I never questioned kids. I opted for a pouch instead of trying heavier drugs. Whatever I needed to do to take care of them, I would. And somehow I did. You learn the places that have family bathrooms. My kids are now great when I'm not feeling well. But a lot of time I find that if I have to do something for/with them I will take better care of myself (watch what I eat so I minimize problems) and can usually manage to do wht needs to be done and sometimes feel better because of it.

Good luck!

SueLynn

Children are SUCH a blessing. We tried for EVER to get pregnant and finally, in between colitis flares, I got pregnant...at the age of 46! My son was only 3 when I had my first of two surgeries, and he was the best medicine I could have had for my recovery.

And yet, it's a very personal decision. I wish you the best and hope that, if you decide to go for it, you have a wonderful pregnancy (or pregnancies) and enjoy all the wonder of having a child (or children).

I've had 2 girls since my surgery in 2000. They are 13 months apart. So apart from the fact that they are really busy, and I have no help as family is so far away I'd say I fair not too terribly. Both girls are up at 6 A.M., but I've always been a morning person. I just don't fight the urge to put off things when I'm tired. I have that much needed nap. I've also been fortunate that my health has been great! I've had no problems with my pouch. Just don't be afraid to ask for help if you become overwhelmed and need a break from the kids. Even moms in the best of health take time off for themselves. I wouldn't change being a mom for the world.

I'm too young to have kids, but I'm a true believer that with children, you will find the energy to take care of them. Even in your worst flareup, they will give you enough joy and strength to carry on. I saw a show on a woman who was a quadriplegic and had a baby. NOTHING should take children away from you, no matter what your illness. They are a gift that everyone should be entitled to. You just need to plan it well and make sure you have help. Good luck with everything.