Hey everyone,

Well my fiance and I got the difficult and devastating news last week that my Doctors don't feel that I should carry a pregnancy. They feel it bares too much of a risk to my pouch and once again having an ileostomy. Not to mention about 4 weeks ago I had surgery for stage IV Endometriosis and my right fallopian tube removed.

To say the least I have been inconsolable and beyond devastated. I feel like I have given up so many of my dreams with this disease and am unwilling to give up anymore!! I just feel as though my body has betrayed me.

We have been guided toward an IVF cycle and finding a surrogate. Does anyone have any suggestions, advice, shared experiences, etc?? I feel as though we are fumbling through this new process and would appreciate anything you wonderful people have to offer.

Thanks so much!!

You picked your screen name for a good reason, you are 1 Tuff Chic...so I know that you will make it through this just fine...this is just one more challenge for you to face...I can't give advice, just sympathise with all that you are going through...Been there, but I wasn't half as tough as you and didn't have a partner at the time to stand by me...so I didn't go the surrogate route...I cried, became sad and miserable and gave up on my dream...You don't have to...you can give eggs, get them ferilized and have a surrogate carry them to term for you...a real miracle compared to what was on offer 30+ years ago...so take the time, grieve a little, cry a lot and then, when you are truely ready, move forward and have that baby that you truely deserve...
Sharon

I am so sorry. Dealing with fertility issues can be so devastating. Give yourself sometime while you are researching options. Make an appointment with an IVF center. Most are wonderful and compassionate. They will lay out options and choices.

I do not have personal experience with surrogacy. My twins are via IVF. However a co-worker of mine has a beautiful baby girl as a result of surrogacy. They spent 6 years trying to conceive. His wife had stage 4 endometriosis. Surrogacy was their last shot. They had 2 frozen embryos left and a cousin stepped forward to be their surrogate. It worked the first time and their litle girl was born this summer.
I wish you the best on your journey. It is such a difficult road to walk.

Hi! I used a gestational carrier, or surrogate to help us have our biological child for the exact reason. It was just too risky to carry myself and ruin all the hard work I put in to get "healthy" (as healthy as one can get in our situations...lol). Our son is our pride and joy and we are currently trying for a second child now with another carrier!!! Please feel free to email me as I'm very willing to help you out!

Can't help on the surrogate side, but I did IVF for both of my children. I was very concerned about going through it after all the medical stuff I had already been through (I had a failed j-pouch and now have a perm ileo). I was pleasantly surprised to find IVF much less traumatic than I feared.

I did two fresh cycles and one frozen. I got pregnant all three times, but miscarried the frozen cycle early on (about 7 weeks). My best advice is to aim for a reasonable number of eggs - don't push your body to generate a huge number. I had a slight case of Ovarian Hyper Stim Syndrome and it is not fun. You do not want a serious case of this. So make sure your goals are realistic and you should be fine.

My first fresh cycle we transferred two 3-day 8 cell embryos and one implanted (Alex is now almost 5 1/2). My second fresh cycle we transferred one 6-day hatching blastocyte (Meghan is almost 3).

Good luck - let me know if you have questions about the IVF retrieval process. I hope speech path can help with the surrogate info!