Hi All! My husband and I had a pre-IVF consultation with a high risk OBGYN yesterday. I was completely impressed by him and his knowledge of j-pouches. I really liked the doc and was comforted by how much experience he had with colectomy patients, but he didn't mince words. When he said that pregnancy could lead to a life-threatening bowel obstruction, all my husband heard was "life-threatening." I was expecting the whole doctor speech on how all pregnancy has risks, and that the chance of a complication was minimal, but he was pretty straightforward about there being substantial risks. My husband, who has never been to the doctor for anything more than a cold is now freaked out.

While my husband left the appointment fearing for my life, I left more concerned over my future continence and preservation of my pull-through. The doc said there is a 1/10 chance I could have some sort of bowel problem. I am now terrified that if I do get pregnant I could become permanently incontinent or end up with an ileostomy.

Did anyone else feel less confident about pregnancy after meeting with a high risk doctor?

How important is having a baby to you? Only you can answer that.

I think you will find a lot of support on this board of pouchers who have had multiple successful pregnancies.
I had these fears as well...something ruining my pouch and ending up with a permanent ileostomy. Delivery options were also tricky...the risk of scarring the bowel with a c-section or the risk or tearing the perineal area with a vaginal delivery-
Fortunately, I (like many other women) had a complication free pregnancy and vaginal delivery- It is a personal decision, but hopefully other women on the board will reach out to you with their success stories. Also, consider that physicians have to tell you the worst possible outcome just incase...as a way to protect themselves

Thanks, Erin. Lots to think about.

agree with erin. They have to tell you the worst case scenario. I don't know when your surgery was, but if you've not had a history of problems with obstructions or blockages already then maybe it's not much of a concern. I think with a lot of women as the baby grows, it can cause adhesions to be torn apart (painful but not dangerous) but doesn't generally cause life threatening problems. I'm not an authority, but I wouldn't have let it stopped me when we went through it, even if it would have resulted in surgery for a blockage. IVF was my only way to get a baby and I was going to try it, come hell or high water, and if I wasn't succesful, I could sail into my older years knowing I had tried everythign I could and for whatever reason, it wasnt' in the cards for me. It does depend on how important having a baby is to you. After over 3 years of trying and being 39, it was very important to me to try through IVF and if it didn't work for whatever reason, put it behind me and try to move on with a different life than what I had originally planned. I was prepared to do that, but not until I tried.

July,
I am a true believer in 'trust your instincts'...do you trust the doc? Do you trust his opinion? Have you had a 2nd opinion? Have you spoken to your colorectal surgeon or a pouch specialist? How do you feel, really, inside your gut when you think of having/not having a baby naturally or IVF or adopted/fostered?
Other peoples' experiences are important but at the end of the day, when you close the door and go to bed at night, the only one who's decision really counts is yours and your hubby's...some things in life are no brainers...this is not one of them...this requires serious discussion with hubby on what you consider to be acceptable risk. My dad always said that he would never accept my sacrificing myself just to have a baby only to make the poor kid an orphan...or worse. I didn't go all the way and follow all of the options but I did the best I could with what I had and put the rest in God's hands...In the long run things worked out. I didn't have the baby but I got step kids and now step grand kids...so my love is going to good use
this has got to be one of the hardest decisions that you will ever make in your life and my heart goes out to you...
Good luck no matter what you decide.
Sharon

Thanks, Sharon.

I was told all the same things and had a great pregnancy!!! Pouch actually worked better and C-section was a breeze.

After consulting with GIs and high risk OBs, I was just not comfortable with my situation (pouch and damaged spincters due to fistula surgery) that I would be able to maintain continence safely with meds during a pregnancy or that a pregnancy wouldn't cause me worse troubles.

I have now have the 2 most AMAZING kids ever, via international adoption. There is no way I could have borne kids this awesome, and they are both healthy, growing, and well attached!!!

There are many possible paths to becoming a parent if you desire. Best of luck!!!

I think your doctor gave you the absolute worst-case scenario. But to be honest, something deadly is always the worst-case scenario during pregnancy, even for healthy women.

I had a consult with a maternal-fetal medicine specialist, and even with a history of 6 surgeries, a permanent stoma and a platelet disorder, he acted like I was the most boring patient he'd seen all week. Obviously, I have some special concerns we have to watch out for, but they are minor compared to a lot of pregnancy issues.

My husband always wanted two kids, we had our first 6.5 months before the first signs of UC. We had agreed not to discuss a second until 1 year after my take-down.

Last November, I brought it up. He mention some of the very same concerns that about damage to the pouch / permament ileo etc. He said he would not risk my health just to have another child.

Since I still have a lot of fatigue and muscle ache and most recently 3 bouts of pouchitis, we agreed, we can't put my body through the stress of another pregnacy & caring for new born. Additionally, I am about to turn 40.

I had lots of concerns about carrying a pregnancy with a j-pouch. In fact, I went to a high risk OB before even trying to see if I was crazy to consider it. He assured me that I could have a normal healthy pregnancy. We did discuss the possible issues, but he felt that my health was good, I was reasonably strong and that he was knowledgeable enough to manage any issue that might come up (I live in Boston and this dr has had many j-pouch and ostomy patients).

I actually had a failed j-pouch and had it removed and have a perm ileo. This was the case when I got pregnant - both pregnancies conceived and delivered with a perm ileo. I did have a serious obstruction in my first pregnancy, and while very scary, we got through it with no surgery and no harm to me or the baby.

Both of my kids were full term and delivered by c-section. Both healthy and strong. They are now 6 and almost 3 1/2.

The key really, is to find a dr you feel good about. No matter how knowledgeable they are, your reaction to them is the most important thing. I felt that my OB was totally capable of handling anything that did come up and that he was being truthful about the risks. In the end he told me I was one of his easiest patients because my issues were not obstetrical.

Good luck with your decision.

My wife has some minor complication related to pregnancy . But she is very stressed after her last visit to our doctor.She is facing a emotional imbalance . I need advice , how to help her.

Am I reading correctly that your wife is pregnant with a j-pouch and has a minor pregnancy complication that has upset her? Is the complication one that she fears will affect the pouch, the baby or both?

I can totally understand being scared to find out there is a problem, no matter how minor. I think the best thing is to make sure your wife is comfortable with the doctor. THen try to be reassuring without dismissing her fears. Try to help her focus on what is going well with the pregnancy and the wonderful end result. Also see if you can get her to focus on remaining calm for the baby's sake. Even in utero children pick up on our stress levels so helping her find ways to stay calm is very important.

You may want to discuss the issue with the dr if you both feel comfortable with him. He may be able to calm your wife's fears and/or may be able to give her something to help.