I suffered the disappointment of a lifetime three weeks ago- woke up from my takedown surgery to discover that the tummy-tuck I was sneaking past my insurance company didn't take place because the bowel surgery was too messy and the plastic surgeon didnt want to risk contamination.
I sulked mightily for a few days but was forced to acknowledge that I was fortunate to be recovering ridiculously fast.
Here's the thing- my already unfortunate scarred, stretched belly seems to have bloated and sagged even worse since the take-down 3 weeks ago. Is this normal? Despite doing some respectable cardio workouts and eating so much less now (out of necessity,) I'm gaining about 1 1/2 lbs a week.
Again, I realize that I'm lucky to be able to go to the gym and live a relatively normal life, but I feel like this is a cruel joke.
Also, I was diagnosed with UC immediately after having my twins in 2007...so with pregancy, flare-ups, prednisone, prednisone weight gain, the bag, etc, my sex life has really suffered. Now, between the neurosis of my weight gain and the burning, itching and general unclean feeling I have down there since the take down, I'm worried that my poor husband is condemned to never see an improvement in our sex life.

What can I do (besides piss & moan) to make this better?

My honest sympathies, I do understand Lola...
I have a road map on my abdomen and the last 9 surgeries were each done from a new site...I stopped counting the scars and with the pull and weight gain I look discusting...I am also a new bride so to speak...we have only been married 6 yrs and just 1yr before all of the surgeries started...
I begged my docs to reduce my scars, tuck something or another in and remove a patch, pound or bulge but every time that I wake up they have done everything to make the situation worse...I even planned to have it all fixed in Sept 2010 but then I had another incident and am rescheduled for sugery this spring...and no abdominal repairs!
Hubby feels 'uncomfortable' with my 'shyness' over my new pounds and scars...I don't know if the problem is more me or just my attitude but he reacts either way...
No matter what you look like (and yes it is worse to US than for them...We are our own worse critic!) you have got to find a compromise between the 'ideal you' and the real you...don't let a couple pound and scars get the better of your marriage...try some tactical camoflage...lingerie, silk and lace...stuff that can hide the lumps and bumps and make you feel a bit sexy again...becasue it is all in your head...he will react to how you project yourself and if you feel bad and uncomfortable about yourself so will he...
By the way, hubby tells me that when he was a kid his mom used to take him to the 'Turkish steam baths'( meanning spa) every Thursday... it was women only and boys under the age of 7...and the women were of all ages, weights, heights and conditons...fat, thin, perfect and imperfect and even very old...and mostly naked or covered with a tiny bit of towel...for him all women are beautiful no matter what the shape...so teach your hubby that sexy is as sexy does...And go have some fun.
Sharon

Well, I am 5 years out from takedown with a horrible looking belly from scars (total abdonminal surgery twice, huge c-section scar, gall bladder removal, ostomy scar) and a crazy amount of stretch marks and sagging from massive prednisone weight gain and subsequent weight loss. Although I am very sensitive about my belly and won't let it be seen or touched much, I must say that sex has been better than ever.

Hope the same is true for you as you heal up and get used to your body. I am saving my $$$ for cosmetic surgery, so we *do* have some options about this if we are comfortable with that....

I've learned to live with the scras and stretch marks. I just cant understand how or why everything got worse after the take-down. When I look down, I see a swinging pouch of skin and fat that resembles the belly of an old housecat.
Nothing was added or removed this last surgery, why did everything suddenly fall down and out?
I've re-joined weight watchers, I'm working out 5x per week, I'm taking my vitamin D, iron and B12 shots and I've cut sugar almost completely from my life (it BURNS!!!) but still no weight loss and no energy whatsoever.
Am I being too impatient? My twins are 3/12 years old and I weigh exactly what I did post-partum...5'6" and 165 pounds. I have been blessedly prednisone-free for 19 glorious months...WHY AM I STILL FAT?!?

Yeah, I gave the same speech to one of my friends, who is an MD. I'm off the steroids, so why am I still fat?! She said that it's age. I don't know how old you are, but every year on the clock makes it harder and harder to lose weight.

It's not just j-pouchers; it's all of us.

Sounds like it might be stretched skin which working out and loosing weight will not help. Good for you for getting your health back though. At least that's one thing going for you.

Hormones and heridity! Yuck!
Yes both play a role in 'snap back' of skin and sagging etc...some of us are blessed with darker more elastic skin and others have lighter, thinner skin that really takes a beating...the darker the skin, the thicker that it is and the less that it sags, but it does mark more and tend to celioid too...no one gets away scot-free. Of course the older we get and the lower the hormones the less elastic the skin and the pouchier and saggier we get (I love your illusion to the saggy house cat!)
The only thing that you can possibly do to make it better without the surgery is massaging the abdomen with oils and creams etc...it may help slightly but there are no miracles.
I would love to have mine redone, for me, not for hubby...I have ab-envy when I watch the music videos...I am learning to hate those washboard ab beauties who show off their perfection...but such is life and I was never meant to be beautiful there....but my insides are just gorgeous!
I am holding out for the next surgery and the hope that my surgeon fixes me up both inside and out...or at least on the inside..I can live with the outsides if I am healthy...
As for the diet/exercise non-result...sometimes it is all in our heads...we will not respond to all of our efforts until our brains are ready to accept the changes...keep up the good work and eventually it will pay off...
Sharon
ps...I wish I had your willpower!

Getting fit and being at a healthy weight is important, but the belly is the way it is. It sags on most women as they get older, and each thing done to it makes it sag more - pregnancies, C-sections, J-pouch and similar sugeries, there's only so much you can do. You cannot firm up sagged/stretched skin. You cannot tighten a muscle that's been stretched/damaged. Just do what you can to be fit and healthy and let Spanx be your friend.