Hi everyone, I've been reading some posts in here. This kinda scares me. I may have to get a permanent ileo (no j-pouch). And I am a VIRGIN! So, I'm nervous the sex could be painful for me and I may never have a good sex life I am 28 years old, never had a serious boyfriend. I wish I had sex before my ostomy. Now I may never enjoy it and get to experience it.

I already had a colectomy. Still feeling pain down there. Even masturbation hurts (sorry for being graphic).

Love,

Was anyone else here a virgin when they had their colectomy? Should I be OK and will sex be enjoyable? thanks!


Love,

From my experience, not a virgin though, that things got better over time.
I didn't have sex after Step 1 but weeks after Step 2/takedown, my fiance and I tried. The first time it hurt and had to stop. But over a short amount of time it got better and now I don't even think about it.

How long ago was your surgery?

You could ask your gyno about ways to lessen the pain. I think they have medical vibrators that help with scar tissue.

I honestly think you will find sex to be enjoyable. Try not to worry!

Ladies...let me offer the male perspective here....there are way too many "poor hubby" comments in this thread. There are creative ways around these issues which hopefully I don't need to spell out for all of you. My private investigator that I use, 80% of what he does is surveillance spying on spouses suspected of cheating, and many times the reason these guys cheat on their wives is because of a "poor hubby" attitude by the wife. Now I am not saying that your husbands are going to cheat on you. But there are other ways to keep him happy. Use your imaginations.

I am not in any way trying to make light of this issue and I truly sympathize with the ladies who have this problem.

By the ways, when I had my colectomy my surgeon strongly advised me to bank my sperm, telling me there was a 2% chance of permanent impotence and a 10% chance of temporary impotence. He said the nerves that control sexual functionality in males are microscopic and course through the surgeried areas and there is no way to know if it will happen or to prevent it from happening. Fortunately, neither happened to me. But I am in my 40s now and I am suffering from what I call early stages of ED.........and it's no fun, especially when cialis doesn't help at all and makes me feel funny.

I have heard so many complaints about painful intercourse from women who have had IBD surgeries that I wonder exactly what impact these surgeries have on the nerves and whether that is a factor in causing the pain. Does anyone know what the physiological cause of this pain is because it does seem to be a very frequent complaint?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DJBHusky,

Well...it was interesting to see this surface again. I thought I'd give you all an update since I'm here. It's been 15 months since this original post. Guess what...still no good sex. I had a weird cyst that was connected to my bartholin gland. I had that and the gland removed in January. The docs thought that would do it. No such luck. My new gyno, (who did the surgery and who I just love) said it looks like my vaginal opening has shrunk. Which can happen during menopause, who knew? Now the cyst that was connected to the bartholin gland came back, and will have to come out. Yay, another surgery!
Now I am like a dog with a shock collar on. Sex is the last thing on the planet I want to do. My libido has completely disappeared. I could care less if I ever have sex again for the rest of my life. We still try once or twice a week, but it's horrible. My fiance says "I think you just got to work through the pain." Yeah...easy for him to say. As far as being imaginative...no matter what we do, it leads to intercourse, thanks, but no thanks.

Mine was the first couple of times, probably due to the length of time it had been. Now, all is fine and unpainful.

I am jumping in a bit late on this thread but I was a bit occupied in March/April this year
Here in france they take this whole sex business very, very seriously..so much so that they have sex physiothereapy!!!!!!!!(no they are not a bunch of pervs getting their kicks! )
Usually you get a few free post-op sessions with a specialist when you have had an episiotomy or vagina/rectal surgery....
First thing is to muscle you vagina with tightening exercises and then to use extra viscous lube!!!!They even have cortisone based ointments to rub into the scar tissue post episiotomy!!! (oh, those French!!! )(the only country I know of where you can sue someone for mental damage if they have screwed up your sex life!!! )
If anyone wants to PM me for more info on stuff that you can do to make the pain go away of make it less uncomfortable, feel free....I know that my hubby and my marriage are both greatful for the improvement in our sexlife.
Sharon