Hi, I've been lurking on this board for over a year and it's been a HUGE source of info.
I had my surgery last year, 6/29/2010 steps 1 and 2 and then takedown on 8/31/10.

I've read some posts about how some women experience pain during sex after surgery. My current boyfriend and I just started having sex a few weeks ago. Before him, I hadn't had sex since maybe March of 2009 because I had gotten so sick.

So not only has it been 2 + years, but I've also now had the surgery.

For those of you that experienced pain during sex after surgery, did it eventually go away? It's gotten a little better since the first time we did, but it still hurts a little and I usually have to make him stop.

I'm also TERRIFIED that something inside of me will rip or come open, though I know it's not going to happen.

How do you make those fears go away? I guess it will with time!

Thanks so much,

-K

Emerald,
So sorry that this is not more fun for you....it should be but sometimes surgery changes our anatomy down there, things swell, shift around, scar tissue develops etc...first off...lube! You can never have enough lube (especially since when you are scared of pain your natural lube dries out), muscle relaxants can help if you are feeling tight and or anxious...(a glass of wine may just do the same thing )...fear is not an aphrodisaic, it makes pain hightened, your body stiff and your reactions unnatural...so first off, give your boyfriend a code word so that you don't need to say stop and kill the mood, get him to go slower, or just half way (depending on how he is built)or even decide to do 'everything but'..So that you can relax and not worry...if that doesn't work you may want to try a dialator (you can either buy an expensive medical device or you can walk into any 'love store' and buy yourself a couple of fun accessories in progressive sizes and slowly stretch things out )...trusting your partner is essential for you to be able to relax so tell him that it will take time but with a bit of patience and creativity things will be fine...
Most of us went through it but have come through without loosing either our desire or our ability to enjoy sex...it is rather rare for the pain to be permanent without there being some sort of underlying problem (cysts, fibroms, abscess etc)...
Mostly you have to be able to have fun. Yup...top of the list is have fun, laugh, enjoy the idea of intimacy even before the sex, play games, giggle some and things will get better.
Sharon

It did get better for me (it's been almost 2 years since my takedown and almost 1 year since my tack down surgery) although things are still a little different and it definitely takes more time to warm up now :-) Skn69 is right in that things can shift around during these surgeries. I asked my gyno about it because I was getting a little worried and she basically said the more you do it the less it will hurt because your body will get more used to it again and I have to say she was right :-)

First of all...great response Sharon!

I had a lot of sex pain problems after my takedown. I have a ileo now...everything is fine. I definately agree with the lube thing...it seems like I don't lube naturally the way I used to. Not sure if it is from the surgery or that I'm 51...probably a little of both! Best of luck!

All good suggestions. Just to add the saying "if you don't use it you loose it"....so I'm thinking your body will get better as you get into the swing of things again. I'm hopeing that for me too as I've been sick and on a long dry spell too....my poor understanding husband.