I am about 3 months post takedown and have had some problems with sex. During sex, in some certain positions, I feel like I am going to leak, especially during climax, which has happened a couple of times. I feel like I have to tighten my anal muscles in order to not leak. THis happens even if I go to the bathroom right before to empty. It just makes it not a fun as it used to be because I feel like I can't relax during sex. My husband has been patient but I know he wants to get back to the way things used to be eventually. Have any of you ladies experienced this before and does it get better with time?? THanks!

that happened to me a few times in the beginning too. i think it's just the pressure against the pouch, maybe stimulates nerves or something...doesnt happen anymore though. maybe it will go away for you too?

Thanks, I hope it does go away. How long did it take to go away for you?

I'm a little over a year out- it went away after the first year

I had to see a physical therapist and build up my pelvic floor muscles.

You could try being intimate in the morning before eating and/or after a couple of Imodium have kicked in. If you're still uncomfortable, perhaps be together in the shower? Being distracted by fear of leakage is horrible, even with a wonderful partner, and I'm sorry you're going through that. Unfortunately, like everything else with this disease, you may need to try a number of different things before you find what works.

Good luck.

Lynne

i just found this site, it is great, I am almost 1 year post initial surgery, 6 mos since ostomy reversal. I have similar leakage conecern/sensations during sex. Makes me feel better knowing this is "normal"

I always have the same fears during sex. Somehow though I never leak - I try to go to the bathroom before and somehow I guess my body is distracted in a way and I'm able to hold it in. Sometimes though I try to subtley reach my hand back there to make sure nothing's leaked. One time though I did leak and my boyfriend thought it was 'cute' - like I just totally lost control during sex because he was so good. Pretty funny! I just kinda went with his fantasy, even though deep down I almost died of embarrasment.

I have no clue how long it takes, but it does reach a point of normal. I was 14 when I had it done and it was some years before I started having sex, but it's all been normal. It won't be like it is now forever.

Oh, how this sounds like me!

I had my reversal September 2007 and I am still finding every day/week/month is different. And this plays a massive effect on my sex life with my husband.

I've monitored my pouch motions and activities and it seems it's not just what i eat but other factors such as stress, time of the month, how active I have been, when I take my loperamide (whether i've had it in time before eating), when i eat and how much sleep i've had!!!

Sex has been the biggest problem (next to diarrhoea of course!) because it seems, depending on how active my bum has been, i'm sore and this makes everything feel raw and even numb at the same time and we could go a few days without sex which can be frustrating (We're also trying for a baby)

I find the pelvic muscles are particularly related between the contractions of orgasm/feeling sexual to going a toilet so doing regular pelvic floor muscles would be a very good idea for any woman who has had this surgery. I find this can help alot.

I find taking my loperamide 4 hours and 2 hours before sex can help slow things down. I take about 6 a day but up to 8 on a bad day and sometimes only 2-3 on a really good day )Maybe i've had a rice dish?!!)
It might be a good idea to discover which foods come out bulky thus relieving the feeling of diarrhoea. (Like rice!) :-)

I think everyone is different - you need to figure out a food/pouch activity diary and make notes on when you are good and bad and what foods make you loose, sore, etc as these bad foods can add to the feeling of needing to empty...(I find dairy is the worst - milk, chocolate, caffeinated drinks like coffee, etc!)

You will figure it out. I still don't get it right every day even now (especially when hubby wants to be spontaneous in the kitchen!) but you'll learn how to keep things calm and regular.

It is frustrating because I can't even touch myself sometimes without discomfort. You'll learn to control it - just don't let it control you, be strong and remember it's not your fault so don't let your pouch or a partner make you feel bad if you have to stop and run to the loo sometimes...again!
Maybe keep some tissue in your hand when things get a bit 'wet' then you can check yourself subtley and carry on and enjoy the moment with your partner.

Something interesting my surgeon reminded me of is that a baby is born having relied on it's mother for nutrition so its bowel starts working when it comes out into the world!
The minute it has its first drink to when it first eats mushy food and then onto solids - this can be a good couple of years process. The reason for this gradual introduction to solids is to get the bowel to start working properly to suit the baby. Then the baby learns to control the motions itself etc.
Some kids are in nappies for a while longer then others, other kids learn to control sooner then others.

The point here to remember is to have a pouch is like a new born babies tummy. It needs training, good easy food to begin and gradually try other foods and drink to see how it copes and just a bit of love and understanding.

I hope all this helps. Take care and enjoy your food, and your partner, but most of your recovering good health!

Beverley x

Wow, Beverly, thank you for your reply. I think I definitely need to try and be a little more patient and to start enjoying things more :-)