Hi, every one I have an illiostomy and i want to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.I dont know anyone with the same health problems that I have that wants to, or has any children.I just lost my baby at 22 weeks, to incompatent cervix,I also suffered with a great deal of naseau vommiting dehydration and flare ups throughout the pregnancy.I was Just wondering if anybody has any suggestions or knows more about this.I feel alone and was hopeing to find someone that I could relate to or some inspiration. Thank You.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss; I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to lose your baby so far into the pregnancy.

I don't have your exact issues, but can offer you some hope, I think. I have a perm ileo after failed j-pouch. During my first pregnancy I had a near total bowel obstruction at week 17 that left me unable to eat or drink anything. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks and they were talking about surgery. We called in a CR surgeon known for being creative and he was able to catheterize the stoma and get me through the blockage without surgery. IN spite of not eating or drinking anything for 2 weeks, then being ona liquid diet for 2 weeks, my son was born perfectly healthy at 38 1/2 weeks by scheduled c-section.

Aside from the obstruction period, I felt great during my first pregnancy, no nausea, no indigestion, nothing.

I'm now almost 34 weeks with my second baby and this pregnancy has been COMPLETELY different. I've been sick since day one with indigestion, awful taste in my mouth, horrible heartburn, just feeling crummy the whole time. But no obstruction.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that each pregnancy is different and just because you had one set of issues during this last one, doesn't mean you'll have the same issues again. If you do start to experience the same issues, have them give you a PIC line for hydration as soon as the issues arise.

On a side note, my girlfriend lost a twin pregnancy at 20 weeks due to incompetant cervix, then tried 4 more IVF cycles with no luck. On cycle 5 she got pregnant with twins again and delivered at 32 weeks. Both kids are healthy and developmentally on track.

Let me know if you have questions and I'll help if I can...

Thanks for the reply. I am new to this. I am glad to hear that you think there is hope for me too. There arent that many women out there with the same condition.
I struggled so hard with the morning sickness every time I was preg.In 2006 I found out that I was having an eptopic preg,then in 2007 the babys heart stopped beating inside of me at 17 weeks and had to be evacuated and now this.
I never got a pic line, and I think the
ER got tired of my small veins. I was scared that the pic line would cause infections. I am so disgusted with prednizone, that I am scared of roids.I dont want to gain too much weight or have any weird side effects.Although if the doctors have persisted I probably would have done anyhting.

My sister lost her baby at 24 weeks with the same problem. So this last pregnancy they did a cerclage (to stitch up the cervix) at 12 weeks and she was on bedrest at home for the beginning and then stayed in the hospital on her back with her feet elevated for the last ten weeks. She was only allowed to have one shower a week and was lucky that she was allowed to get up to go to the bathroom.

I'm grateful to announce that this baby made it to 37 weeks! They named her after the doctor
Now that you know you have this problem, the doctors can be on the look out for it and do a cerclage and put you on bedrest or whatever they have to do. My sister took all sorts of medicines to slow her contractions (that she had every day). The baby is healthy and beautiful!

I am so sorry for your loss; it wasn't my baby that was lost but helping my sister bury that sweet little girl was terrible. You'll never forget or "get over" that pain and nor should you but I hope you will be able to feel the joy of motherhood soon.

Thank you for your reply and your support. Today it will be two weeks since my loss and am having trouble dealing with it. I cant seem to get over it. I think am getting more depressed, I am having strange feelings regretting that there was something I could have done differntly.I am playing the blame game with my self and others.I cant help but give my boyfriend a hard time and he is feeling bad. feel like blaming it on doctors too, even though I know that they did all that they could do for me.I dont mean to bame it on others or myself. I know that that there will be other chances and, I am scared to think of loosing another baby or, other bad complications that can happen during my next pregnancy.I hate to be so negative and bitter and I need to stop it, its not good for me.

What you're feeling is completely normal and to be expected after what you've been through. This is such a devastating loss! You can't blame yourself or anyone else though, there was nothing to be done.

It my sister's situation it would have been easy to blame the doctors. Her midwife actually sent her to the hospital to have the cerclage done because things looked suspicous. When she got to the hospital the doctors didn't think it was necessary and didn't perform the procedure. As a result, she went in to labor and couldn't stop it. So it would be very easy for us to blame them.

At my niece's funeral we sang, "Have Thine Own Way, Lord." We don't understand His ways but we have to trust them. I just keep thinking that God must have wanted to spare our little Ana Lee something horrible that may have happened in her life and took her immediately to be with Him in paradise. There is no question that she is better off but we all suffer greatly as we mourn her loss.

There is a book called, "Safe in the Arms of God" that was a great comfort to me after all of this. PM me if you'd like the info on it.

God bless,

Lori

No one, absolutely no one, would expect you to be over this, or even close to it only 2 weeks out, especially with your history. The last thing you need right now is to punish yourself for feeling badly - you have every reason to feel badly and you should let yourself have this time to mourn and recover (mentally and physically).

Sure, at some point you'll need to pick yourself back up and start thinking forward, but I think it is okay to still be feeling badly.

It's also natural to look for a place to lay blame. Just don't let that urge consume you.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

It is so hard for me to deal with this blame thing because on may 1, I found out that I had an incompatant cervix, Then they sceduled my appoitmet for May 15. I was trying to take it easy in between the time but I ended up going out with my younger sister and picking up her baby he is heavy.This is the most devastating part of all, Since my appointment was so far away from the time I found out that I had a short cervix,I thought nothing of it and I ended up having sex with my boyfriend.I explained to him but he pesued me until I gave in.Then two days later on the day of my appointment I ended up being 1 cm dialated.The doctors told me that the things that I had did in the previous week had nothing to do with the fact that my cervix was open I still dont really believe them.Then we discussed the cerclage and I was scared at first. Then when I tell them that I am ready to do the procedure they tell me that, it is too late and I am pooching out and to go home and rest.I went home that day and rested.I tried to rest as much as possible and I ended up getting restless.I was starting to have contractions on the 17th and started bleeding later that night we went in to the hospital. I had medicine for contractions that next day and was alright. Then the next day the doctors asked me if I wanted a epidural and I said no then, the doctors decided to take me off all meds that next day.I cried and begged for more meds ,but hey would not give htem to me on the 20th my water broke at 2 AM and my boyfriend was asleep and the nurses had been ignoring me I dont know why. The whole room was a mess and I birthed the baby alone with one leg on the bed and one leg off, then after the baby came out, the nurses finally came in and cleaned me up.I cried that they would not do anything for my baby because they said he was too young and wouldnt have made it I still dont believe them.He lived for 2 hours and probably could have lived more but I know that it would have been a struggle for him and me for that matter. I know that I need to start cheering up but I have afriend that is pregnant and it is a constant reminder to me every time I talk to her,I dont know if she understands that is why I appreciate to have all of your posetive feedback in my time of need thank you all.

Well, given all of this, you certainly should still be feeling awful. I think you need to see a dr about getting some help through this - maybe counseling and maybe some medication. You've certainly had a lot to deal wtih.

From what I know of incompetant cervix condition, I think the drs are right and that nothing you did caused this to happen. Nature is a powerful force and I think that this was going to happen no matter what you did or didn't do.

THere was recently an article in the Boston Globe Magazine called "How early is too early?" and it discussed early deliveries. It said that babies born at 24 weeks had a 50% chance of survival (before 24 weeks, the article said that survival was highly unlikely and would probably only be for a few hours), but of those that do survive, most have serious health conditions that often lead to poor quality of life or even death months or years after birth. I know that isn't much comfort, but I do believe if the medical professionals thought anything could be done, they would have tried it.

I am so, so sorry for all you have been through.

There is no way you would be "over" any of your experience- it sounds horribly traumatic. And I am so sorry you are going through it.
Do you have support at home? I hope some is listening to you.
Regardless, I think you need to find a professional to speak with about your feelings. I am sure at some point you will look forward and attempt another pregnancy but you need to heal/ take care of yourself first.
Now that doctor's know the history, they can direct their care differently.
Best of luck and God bless!

I know that I will need to go to a therapist or counciling of some kind that would help.Since my support at home is minimal.For some reason in the past with therapists and phsyc docs I have felt like they try to annoyed me.I guess that is what they are for.I know I dont have the right attitude but,I have had strange side affects from the antidepressants that the docs prescribed me in the past years. I dont really want anymore antidepressants from them,I dont want to take any thing risky for pregnancy, at home I have been taking st johns wart.Im not sure if that is safe but I think it helps a little.I am dreading calling the hospital to ask for a referral to a therapist, I probably will do it soon. I am finding that discussing this is very helpful right now for me since I never knew of anyone els that went through this before and that made me feel alone. Thank you all for your support and for listening.