Ok, This is Not a technical, medical question...it is purely subjective...how is your body image? How does it effect your life? Your sex life? How do you feel about yourself, your scars and your relationship with your 'other'...
I know that this last round of surgery has really effected me and been hard to carry...I put a lot of hopes into this abdominal reconstruction in the hopes that it would give me a semblance of...pride? Comfort? I don't really know what I was looking for other than to feel comfortable getting undressed in front of my hubby and not hiding my horrible body even from myself.
I was horribly dissapointed by the massacar that the plastic surgeon has made of my abdomen, as if I needed it to be any worse. Now he has repaired some of it but 9 scars have still distroyed a lot of my self esteeme...and my hubby can feel this horrible lack of confidence that I have in my body and image.
I am still only 50 (not for much longer) and not ready to give up on my femininity or vanity or coquetterie...so I would really like to know how all of you deal with this.
Is it, has it effected you sex life/love life/ self image?
Thanks
Sharon

I have a permanent ostomy and while I don't have as many scars as you, I do have both horizontal and vertical scars. I don't love the sight of my abdomen but it doesn't affect my self-esteem or my intimacy with my husband. My situation is a little different because I've been like this since I was a teenager, so it's almost like I don't know any other way of being. I don't think back to "how it used to be" and my husband has never known me any other way. Despite my abdomen, I still think I'm pretty and my husband always makes me feel attractive. For times when I really want to forget my ostomy and feel sexy, I have a collection of lingerie from Frederick's of Hollywood that covers it and makes me feel really sexy

I guess the bottom line is.. my body's not perfect and neither is my husband's. I'm pregnant with my first child and I know that'll bring even more changes to my body that will take adjusting to, but I'll hopefully be able to look at my stretch marks and smile knowing that my body did an amazing thing, the same way I can look at my ostomy and my scars and know that they allowed me to live.

I don't have many scars and actually don't feel to bad about my body. HOWEVER--I would say that if body image is an issue then self image might be in the mix too. Of course if you really have body image problems (like Sharon--its not like scars are imaginary) then kinda doubles up on itself. But it kinda sounded to me like it was some of a self image issue. And that I totally get. I mean I look ok but somehow never feel that for anyone I AM okay. So for me its opposite--like with men its a feeling of what DON'T they like about my -- body. And for Sharon its a what DO they like about my -- body. See? So anyway, I think Kates reply was good. For me it has helped to keep any (external) scars I do have as a 'life and death' focus. As for the internal ones...well, thats a story for another time but one little bible verse is holding me together right now. Out of Psalm 8--when I look at the heavens above and see the work of your hand and consider how insignificant I am and yet you have crowned me with dignity and honor and have made me a little lower than the heavenly beings.--thats bigtime paraphrase there...but take it for what its worth. That you are still standing is a miracle Sharon. You are strong and brave (and I know enough of your story to know you are very brave) and you are dignified and honorable and those are two very sexy qualities when realized and practiced. I bet your husband agrees wholly.

Thanks Magic...
My hubby met me when I was 28 and already had my k pouch and tons of scars...it was not an issue then, we had other reasons for not staying together. 10yrs later we got back together and litterally after the first date I ended up having emergency surgery and being put into isolation for 6weeks. That was when the nightmare started. 13 (or is it 14 or 15...) surgeries later I have a dozen more scars, have spent more time being operated on or in convalecence from surgery than working...and the scars are not just physcial but those hurt as much as the rest...this disease has robbed me of my life, my healthy, my career, my freedom, libery and has made me poor. I am struggling with so many issues but at least the visual ones (I thought) could be dealt with.
Hubby is still here, loves me and is faithful...also very patient with me...but I don't know to what measure the desire is still there. MY body scares him...sometimes he is afraid to touch it out of fear of hurting or breaking me. It has happened before.
So I guess that body image and self image are all mixed up (for all of us I think).
There you have it.
Sharon

I don't have much of a problem with the scars or my weirdly lopsided tummy. I do have problems with nerve damage and new vaginal tilt since surgery. I don't lubricate any more and can't fit much of anything down there.

Fortunately, my husband has been supportive in this adjustment time. It's been a year and I'm still having problems. I think I may be visiting the gyn for the physical problems.

I see my scars like I am a amazon warrior. They symbolize my battle and courage.

Well I will admit I do have issues with my body imagery. I have a perm ostomy now and have a vertical scar. I have gotten waaay better with body image over the last year or so. My hubby has been nothing but supportive. I really changed my outlook when I was having a pity party and he said to me, "How would you feel about me if this happened to me?" Of course I wouldn't feel any different then I do now and that ended it for me. I do get self conscious when I see beautiful girls in revealing clothes and "perfect" bodies...but even if I didn't have the surgeries I did I would still feel self conscious. Women are hard on themselves when it comes to their bodies, why is that fair? Men always have the attitude of "this is my body, so what?" You are always your own worst critic of yourself, so I doubt that what you see is what everyone else sees. I'm sure they see you for the beautiful person you are. I know my friends and family don't look at me and think, oh she has an ostomy and scars, eeww! It's hard not to think, why me and why did this happen to me but I always think of the soldiers that come back from war with terrible injuries and see them running a marathon as a double amputee, or terrible burns--and they are on a tv show! By golly if they can overcome that stuff then this is a cake walk for me.