I'm 23 and still not really comfortable with intimacy because of my surgery. I always feel bloaded and if I'm going to have sex I feel like I need to go to the bathroom before or something...I really want to have a healthy relationship someday, obvi. including a sexual relationship and I just don't know what I should do to make this better. Have any of you been through this? Have any of you found that changing your diet can help? I just registered for this site today and have never actually talked to anyone else who has had jpouch surgery (and I had my last surgery 5 years ago!)...I didn't really realize a site like this existed. So any tips you can give would be great!

I felt the same way and had my pouch done about the same time as you did. I was in the midst of a relationship when it happened (he's now my husband).
It took time and I think the most important thing was to get over my own emotional hangups (still dealing with that). I fear(ed) that I would have an accident while having sex, that I would fart, that it would hurt, etc etc etc.

Sex for us is not super spontaneous - I make sure I go to the bathroom before we get down and dirty.

It will happen if you want it to happen. You just have to have a patient partner, a little humor, and the right attitude. And maybe avoid the Mexican food before you plan on anything!

Best of luck!

Hey girls ,
I am 4 months post j pouch takedown and have had sex since and with a new partner with no problems.I did worry about the leakeage but it didnt happen. I sort of anticipate it and eat the rigth foods on the day sex is likely. And empty the pouch beforehand too. It is almost as good as pre pouch days . Its all in the mind really,,the more you worry the more you ll freeze,,if you relax and go with the flow its not an issue.It did hurt on penetration when i had sex first tiem after 2 months but at 4 months not anymore,,seems it healed up inside.I still worry alittle but much less so .Being on top is also better , for me anyways.
One of the reasons I got a j pouch was to improve the quolity of life,,and I dont feel that sex being a beautiful part of life is to be relegated because of unfounded worries

I would just be happy to have sex! I haven't had normal sex since takedown in Dec. '06. By normal I mean actually completing the act, we always have to stop because it hurts too much. It is very painful. Painful sex can be a side effect of this surgery, although my surgeon does not think this is the case, just coincidental timing. I got refered to a OB/GYN, she found a cyst, removed it and my bartholin gland. It came back. Now they have to do another surgery to see what the heck is going on in there. We haven't even been able to look into the painful sex stuff yet.

Other then my scars, I don't know if a partner would even know I had a j-pouch. My partner does knows, because he was there through the whole ordeal.

You'll be fine, relax and have fun!

Your sex life can be very healthy. I just empty right before having sex. Otherwise it can feel bloated and sometimes can cause pain. Certain positions can cause pain with me also. I just tell my husband that is not working and he happily changes position (he is happy to be having sex no matter what position

I am blessed with a patient partner who has never pressured me for more than I feel comfortable with. What I don't get is why this isn't addressed more openly in the gastro or surgeon's office. I became so scared of leaks and injury that sex was put on hold far too long. Couple that with skin issues 'down there' and intimacy really suffers. We are slowly making progress, but I miss the old "me" who was always in the mood before U/C and j-pouch.

If you feel self-conscious about your body/scars, you can wear a teddy or nighty with crotchless underwear. I made my own undies when I had my ileostomy. My husband loved them. I guess I shouldn’t have thrown them out!

Just make sure you eat light and don't drink too much alcohol before jumping into bed.