I just passed my one-year annivostomy, but will be saying "Goodbye" to Mr. Spitty when I have takedown on February 4th. I know a lot of people have problems with their ostomies, but I've been pretty happy with mine. I've also been lucky - no problems with leaks or blockages; no dietary issues; no limitations on activities. While life after takedown will hopefully be even better, I'd like to pay tribute to some of the things I like about my ileostomy - the things which are superior to even a healthy colon.

It's fast - I can be on-and-off the toilet in less than a minute.

It's easy to speed up emptying - I just squeeze the bag with my hands. Can't do that with a j-pouch ... or a rectum!

I know when I'm done - it's clear when the external pouch is empty. Even with a healthy colon/rectum, you can't be sure.

It's convenient - my ileostomy is on the front of me. My bum is behind me. 'Nuff said.

It's clean - after emptying, I typically use two or three sheets of toilet paper to clean the external pouch. Nothing gets on my skin. Much cleaner than using a bum.

No internal physical sensation - I know it's time to empty when the pouch feels full or heavy. No internal feelings which I have to decipher. No pain/panic when things get urgent (which can happen even with a healthy colon). Have you noticed that little kids who are learning to use the potty describe the pre-poop feeling as "my bum/stomach hurts"? Even for a healthy person, the feeling of impending defecation is not totally comfortable.

The odour - this may be a bit controversial ... I don't like the smell, but I think it is better than the alternatives. The small intestine is relatively sterile. The waste hasn't been worked over by a bunch of bacteria that produce smelly gases.

I'm not full of s*** - again maybe not a common sentiment ... while I'm not thrilled to have a pouch full of the stuff hanging off of me, it's still better than having it inside of me.

The best thing about my ileostomy was getting my health back. I was scared before my first surgery; now I know that an ileostomy is totally compatible with a full and happy life. And if I ever need to become an ostomate again ... no worries!

Cheers, and good health to all,
Kevin

Thanks Kevin. You have a very positive outlook. Wish you the best! Randy

Kevin...I have to say that is a very nice tribute to our friend the ostomy. I never really thought about it before, but every time my husband told me that I was full of s@$t, I could have corrected him! Darn, I hate when I miss opportunities like that.

Good luck with your takedown...let us know when you are home.

Take Care
Susan

What a great post!

I can answer yes to all of those statements too. There really isn't much you can't do with an ostomy (even wear a bikini if you get a high waisted one) and I think the positive things far outweigh the negative. I am soooo glad to be rid of all my "butt" issues! It certainly frees up a lot of time and anguish.

Good luck with your takedown. Let us know how it goes.

Take care.

Shell

Thanks, Kevin, for giving me a much more positive attitude toward my new little friend. I agree with everything that you listed. I have this guy until June, at least, so I may as well focus on all of its benifits rather than whining about the things I don't like. Can't change it. May as well learn to love it!

Good luck with your take-down!

I should be careful what I wish for ...

I just found out that my takedown has been postponed. So I get more quality time with Mr. Spitty.

For more information, please see my "Rant".

Kevin, I love these! Thanks for posting. By the way, I like the name, Mr. Spitty. I may have to use that.

Between tests and prep for takedown over the last couple of days, I've got two more:

- Stool samples are a breeze!

- Oral laxatives are much easier to deal with - they still taste bad, but no discomfort at the other end.

Got another one for the list.

Camping is a breeze. You don't have to take your pants all the way down to poo!!!!