My stoma is where I wear sweats and such. Is it okay for the waistband of sweats and p.j. style bottoms rests on the stoma, if it's not tight? Or is it really preferable for it to be over or under?

I think that as long as you are comfortable and your output can still drain into the bag it should be ok. The other thing you could try is the Pheonix belt. It's great for those with higher stomas. You wear your bag sideways and it means that you can wear just about anything over it. Here's a link to their web page:

http://www.ostomysupportsystem.com/testimonials.html

I'm really lucky that Wee Willie is so low (he's 2 ins across and 4 ins down from my belly button) so I wear high waisted lycra underwear and wear my bag at an angle across my tummy so that the load is evenly spread.

Good luck and take care.

Shell