Got the Ileo Three years ago.. 99% of the time I have no problems and its really not even there. But the last week I've really wished I didn't end up this way.

Am I alone?

For me, I was so miserable with UC and the j-pouch that I feel my permanent ileostomy saved my life. I regret I got UC in the first place for whatever reason. I just praise God that it was possible although not easy because of complications that I am alive and doing well now. "Normal living" would have been so much better but now I just pray I stay well for a very long time. Try to look at the positive side of all this. One day at a time.

Sorry to hear this because I'm scheduled to join the world of permanent ostomates after 2 years of chronic pouchitis and not wanting to subject myself to the discomfort and drug regimen any longer.

What happened last week?

Physically I'm great. Dealing with the ileo has not been an issue really. Mom died of cancer a few months ago, another guy my GF knows had a cough he couldn't get rid of, turned out to be cancer and he died 2 months later. I'm 44 and guess for the first time I looked at my own mortality. Thought of how my life has been and any regrets up to now, and I thought I really wished I didn't end up with a bag, and it snowballed into self pity.

Funny thing.. Since I got it out of my head and verbalized it to a few people, It has lifted and I feel back to normal.

Thanks for the replies, I just was wondering if anybody else has hit emotional bumps in the road.

Bag or no bag it sounds like a rough week. In the last couple of years I lost several people close to me including my father. I think your reaction as only normal. Im glad you were able to pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

I'm just over a year on my permanent and I'm very unhappy. You can see from my signature I've been through a lot. Now I have Peristomal Pyoderma Gangrenosum, a nice painful hole next to my stoma. I feel I just can't catch a break. I'm almost 37 and I feel old.

You can only tell yourself "at least I am not dead" so many times before it doesn't comfort anymore.

Sorry to hear about your Mom, mine died of cancer in January.

ditto

I'm in my third year of permant ostomy. I have some itching, the skin is red from change to change, but feels better when I change wafers. A nurse taught me to run water over the area, and that seems to help. I use stoma powder, then spray. I get some itching in the area outside the wax ring. But back on topic, I try to remember what it was like for me before, running from bathroom to bathroom, and now the calm that has settled over my life. Took a car trip through Arizona last year I never would have attempted. No more cancer worries either. So, there is some itching, and I get tired of worrying about the smell when I evacuate, but that's pretty minor. The forever part comes to mind occasionally. Its just life, right?