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Being gay with a j-pouch
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posted
Hi everyone,

I'm 22 years old, and was diagnosed with UC when I was 15. When I was 16, I underwent 2 surgeries to have the j-pouch after none of the medications seemed to control my UC (aside from Prednisone, which you can't take forever). I've never been in a serious relationship with anyone, as I'm still trying sort out my sexual orientation. However, I feel as though I may be gay or bi-sexual. I'm just curious as to how having a j-pouch can affect your sex life if you're in a relationship or having intercourse with someone of the same gender. Is anal sex possible? This is a really embarrassing thing for me to ask, but I'm just curious in case that day ever comes lol.
 
Posts: 2 | Location: Long Island, NY | Registered: June 14, 2011Report This Post
Picture of kathy smith
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Send a private message to Eric, he'll be able to give you all sorts of information. I think that generally anal sex after j-pouch creation is a no-no.

Welcome to the site!

kathy Big Grin


***********************************************************
Lately it occurs to me, what a long strange trip it's been..... Grateful Dead
 
Posts: 9461 | Location: california | Registered: June 30, 2000Report This Post
Picture of Jan Dollar
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Unfortunately, this is something it seems few doctors discuss. A shame, since this is an important question for others, even if not gay.

Anyway, I am not sure there is a strict rule, and it probably depends on a lot of factors. But, basically, yes anal intercourse is possible, but for all the reasons you can imagine, it can be risky. You don't know if you have an anal stricture, or if your pouch is quite short, or other limitations. The structure of the ileum is different than the rectum, which is much more elastic and distendable. The rectum also has thicker walls, so is more durable.

Yeah, talk to Eric. He has a k-pouch now, bot had a j-pouch for a number of years.

Jan Smiler


Take a deep breath and relax; this too will pass.
 
Posts: 23049 | Location: Fremont, CA, USA | Registered: April 07, 2000Report This Post
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Hi there,
I am a 25 year old gay male. At birth, most of my intestines burst, and they were removed. I now only have 1/2 of my small bowel left - and have lived fine with no complications for my entire life. I am married in a gay relationship, and while I am not the "bottom" in the relationship, I do engage in anal sex from time to time, whether it be from a penis, fingers, or sex toys. I have had absolutely no complications or issues at all. However, I have been like this for more than 25 years - however, your surgery was a few years ago, and I'm sure your body has healed in that time frame. So a short answer to your question: yes, anal sex is possible.
 
Posts: 1 | Location: Woodstock, ON | Registered: February 09, 2013Report This Post
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I am a woman and heterosexual. I have a jpouch and my doctor told me I am never allowed to have anal sex.
 
Posts: 522 | Location: USA | Registered: October 12, 2006Report This Post
Picture of Reuben Tietz
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Hey all,
So I'm 17 living with a j-pouch (as of a few days ago). I'm just wondering what some of your advice is on sex. Obviously, anal sex seems to be the hot topic- specifically for the mate who is on the receiving end. However, I'm more curious delivering. Have you all had any problems holding stool in during sex? If so, what's some helpful advice?
Also, how have you all broken the news about the j-pouch/ileostomy to a potential boyfriend?
Let me know.
 
Posts: 2 | Location: Bay Area | Registered: February 12, 2013Report This Post
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I sent Eric a message. I hope he replies. Smiler
 
Posts: 2 | Location: Long Island, NY | Registered: June 14, 2011Report This Post
Picture of Mattenheimer
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Kharma, my prayers are with you my friend.


Love, Laughter, and Silliness,

Matt

UC - 1985
Colectomy, J-pouch, Dec 3, 1993
Take Down - 2/1994
 
Posts: 26 | Location: Salem, OR | Registered: December 08, 2007Report This Post
Picture of skn69
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Not that I know anything whatsoever about this but...would it be feasible to contact a sort or physiotherapist specialising in j pouches and pelvic floor dysfunction etc and see if they had some advice on this sort of thing? If anyone understands how delicate the region is it would be them and they may have some advice especially on how to prepare yourself if it is the first time post pouch creation.
Good luck guys...this cannot be easy at any level for you.
Sharon


It could be worse...oh, wait..it already has been! then I guess it can only get better from here....
 
Posts: 4986 | Location: Paris, France | Registered: July 29, 2007Report This Post
Picture of Dog
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Gay man here and I discussed this at length with my surgeons.

For full disclosure, I'm a bottom, so when I say I questioned the surgeon at length, I mean it. I even talked about options to the traditional ileo-anal surgery, talked about the option of keeping my rectum and my ileostomy indefinitely. None of those are good decisions for various reasons.

Anyway, anal sex after J-pouch is a definite no. Sorry.


First UC flare: 11/04/08
Admitted to hospital: 11/10/08
Total colectomy: 12/10/08
J-pouch construction: 3/10/09
Takedown: 8/19/09
Hernia Repair: 3/06/13
 
Posts: 476 | Location: Littleton, CO | Registered: April 01, 2009Report This Post
Picture of Mattenheimer
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Thank you for your openness. My primary care physician isn't even comfortable giving me a digital prostate exam.


Love, Laughter, and Silliness,

Matt

UC - 1985
Colectomy, J-pouch, Dec 3, 1993
Take Down - 2/1994
 
Posts: 26 | Location: Salem, OR | Registered: December 08, 2007Report This Post
Picture of Murray
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Dog did you get a reason as to why its a no no?


UC for 30 years,never, ever had any issue with it.never had a flair up in 30 years.
DX with PSC Nov 2009
DX of High Grade Dysplasia Nov 2011
TC and pouch done June, 2012
pouch hook up done Feb, 2013
 
Posts: 74 | Location: Ont, Canada | Registered: February 22, 2013Report This Post
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I think that anyone who has a jpouch is told by their doctors NOT to have anal sex. You had surgery there and don't want to disrupt it. I had several surgeries, including a redo, and if there's the smallest possible chance of disturbing anything I would not do it. After being what I have been through, mentally it would not be enjoyable anyway. I think the question to ask if you want anal sex is are there people out there with jpouches whose doctors told them it is okay.
 
Posts: 522 | Location: USA | Registered: October 12, 2006Report This Post
Picture of DavidJames
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Hey its tough but I've always thought it best to never try. I'm so pleased to have been able to have the surgery for my J Pouch and would never want to have to give it up for an outside pouch! maybe think of that?

My issue is my laparotomy scar from the operation as it was infected when I had surgery and is really obvious 3 years later Frowner i'm very conscious of what other guys think when they see me naked.
 
Posts: 1 | Location: UK | Registered: March 29, 2013Report This Post
Picture of Dog
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Murray:
The main reasons I was given:
1) The small intestine is not as elastic as your colon. You risk rupturing your pouch.

2) The J-pouch is attached to what is left of your rectum, you could tear it loose or cause leakage at that site.

3) Unspecified "serious" injury

Even the thought that I might need surgery down there again is enough to keep me from even trying again. You know?

DavidJames:
I hear yeah.


First UC flare: 11/04/08
Admitted to hospital: 11/10/08
Total colectomy: 12/10/08
J-pouch construction: 3/10/09
Takedown: 8/19/09
Hernia Repair: 3/06/13
 
Posts: 476 | Location: Littleton, CO | Registered: April 01, 2009Report This Post
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