I'm thinking that I might have done something really dumb last night. I text messaged my ex to see if she might want to go have something to eat sometime. She said that she didn't think that would be a good idea. I asked her if she was ok, she said she was. She asked me if I was ok, I said pretty much. I mentioned that I really missed seeing and talking to her (which I do). I told her that I was in a much better frame of mind right now, and that I kept hoping that she would be here when I got home one day. She mentioned that I had said that when the divorce was final, we would have no reason to talk again. I told her that we both said a lot of things during that time. That I was upset and angry at her about the situation. I told her that I was really sorry about the way I had handled everything. I tried to call her, and she didn't pick up. She was probably with her new boyfriend (I don't know if she has one or not). I left her a message saying that I was sorry if what I had said made her uncomfortable, but it is how I feel. I've been out a few times since the divorce, and just haven't found anyone that I click with like I did her. I miss having her around a lot. If anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. Even if it was stop being a pansy about the situation.

Hang in there! I know it is very hard. You were in love with your wife and that is very very difficult to get over. I know you miss her. Try to get interested in some other areas and don't have a lot of idle time until things get a little easier. It probalby would be easier not to talk with her. It makes it harder to let go.... I know things don't seem fair right now but she was not the one. And the ONE is out there waiting for you. Don't give up hope, it will get better. Take care of you! Do something fun!

Ok after reading this I had to sign up. There are so many things I want to say here but I will just say this for now.

1.Don’t call her. Just knock it off.

2. There is no shame in getting divorced. Its rare that a marriage works out. Most do not. And how many stay together are miserable? Half?

3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Its not that bad. There are millions of people in this would that would love to switch places with you. Ok yes you are physically scared, you are upside down on your house, jobless and alone with your limp dick. BIG DEAL. You are sill in WAY better spot than most of people in this world. You have a future and it looks bright. Its brighter with out that <* blank *> Oh quick question: who’s idea was it to buy that house when you did? Yours? Or Hers?

Things are going to be less than great for awhile. Lucky for you are young and have time. You don’t need a chick in your life right now absorbing your time and money. You need to get your situation right. And you will. Now stop being such a god damn pansy.

Just my two cents.

Beauwalnut,

1. Probably good advice, since she doesn't really seem that interested in getting back together

I hope the rest of what you said was in response to Harvey's request for advice, even if it's "to tell him to stop being a pansy."

Harvey, stop being a pansy

Just checking in to see how the Birdman is doing?

Harvey, have you seen that thing on Youtube - the 5 stages of acceptance? The giraffe in the quicksand? I think you're in that process. You will experience all the feelings that we go through in a crisis - denial, anger, depression etc. We seem to want to fix everything all the time, make everything ok here and now. Well, sometimes we can't. Some processes have to be walked through. Your feelings of regret, sadness, loss (and denial?) are all natural...but I'm afraid you have to go through them. She says she doesn't want to get together again...probably too many things have been said and done now for you to reconnect. Let her go. Cry, yell, laugh...whatever. But accept that you have to move on. And you have to let her do the same.
That's my advice. Take it or leave it. Good luck

I'm alright. Just dealing. I've decided that a lot of the choices that I've made in the past might have been wrong, so I'm approaching things a little differently. I'm shutting off that voice in my head that tells me to do something or not to do it. I'm trying to be more open to things and go with the flow a little more. The most important thing, it seems to be, is to be able to keep loose and roll with things. I'm reaching out to people for help more than I ever thought I would. I'm trying not to internalize everything like I am accustomed to doing.

I`m glad to see that you are starting to come to some form of acceptance regarding your divorce Birdman.I know that if anyone can overcome this dilema you can.You have to move on because if you don`t and you dwell on what has happened and you stay bitter about it in no time you will be an old bitter man who has let hate and sorrow take over his life.You are better than that Birdman and you have alot to offer to any woman out there that sees a caring and decent man who would want to share a lifetime with.Don`t give up prove to everyone and yourself that life isn`t over it has just begun!

Harvey, this is a hard thing to do, but while dealing with 5 hospitalizations within a year and a half, please try to realize that any day out of the hospital is a damn good day.