Hey gang!

I was just at my yearly check up with my GI doc today..I asked him, being a gay man, if anal sex was possible, and he told me, YES!?....I've had my pouch for nearly 18 years, and was always under the impression we weren't able to have anal sex ever again, and now he tells me it is possible?? I was shocked! Part of my recovery was trying to get over the fact that my sex life was destroyed, and now, 18 years later I find out that I could have been having a "normal" sex life all this time???

This applies to both women and gay men..have any of you tried anal sex with a j-pouch, and if so, what was it like?..according to my doctor, it should be the same as it was before the surgery, and it won't rip or tear the pouch at all, as long as it's done properly with plenty of lubrication. I trust my doctor with my life, and have now for the past 20 years, but I'm weary of believing this, even though he told me it was ok to try.

Please, let me know if you have tried it and if it was ok to do so...if so, any long lasting negative effects?...thanks,

Cheers!
Eric

Hi Eric.
I would think your surgeon would be the expert on this rather than a GI. I would check with him/her also.
Best,
Bill

Interesting report Eric.

I imagine that it all has to do with size, preparation, and gentleness. We have all been scoped and probed, but a scope and finger are a far cry from an erect penis (although the rigid scope isn't too far off and I know a number of people here get rigid sigmoidoscopies). The primary problems would be if you have any strictures and the risk of tearing the tissues if you do. Plus, the size of your pouch makes a big difference too. The ileal tissue is far less elastic than the rectum.

I think a call to your surgeon is a good idea. And, if you do decide to go forward, make sure you take it very slow and easy.

Jan

ALERT: FRANK DISCUSSION FOLLOWS . . .


Wow! First, I applaud you for being brave enough to ask your doctor. I remember the day I asked my surgeon if anything I ever did in my past (I was very anal-erotic) led to my severe U/C, and to my relief he said no. He said genetics probably played the largest role for me. But back to your question . . . and by the way, this topic is not necessarily for men/gay men only!

Please do share what you learn. While I am currently dealing with severe pan, strictures, inner sphincter spasms and the dreaded and very miserable anal fissures, anal pleasure is pretty far from my mind right now. But I always felt it was a rotten trick, that is, to lose something that used to be so pleasurable. However, that said, I know that the pleasure "spot" is still there for me, because I am currently self-dilating and using medication applied digitally to try to reduce the sphincter tension, and I know that "response" when I feel it. It is odd to at the same time be in intense pain and yet have that pleasure response trying to break through. I have to be very careful, as my rectal tissues are excruciatingly tender and easily injured!

I have so many misery issues going on right now, but my partner (I am a lesbian) is more than willing to help me through them ... and if we could incorporate my treatment into a little touching, maybe we could get our sex life back on track. Between leakage, fissures, spasms that hurt like heck, and the occurrence last year of a tiny (and hopefully healed) vaginal fistula), our intimacy has suffered greatly. Your post have given me hope!

My greatest challenge is that sexual response for me has always included some kind of intestinal spasm or twitch, if you know what I mean. Even passionate kissing can send me running to the bathroom ... I know, bummer, eh? And of course I really don't want to disassociate love and affection from sex ... so what do I do? I guess I will have to get brave and get over some very real fears. I would hate to have 18 years pass like you have ...

Thank you, again, for sticking your neck out with a very intimate and difficult question about a taboo issue. I might have to go have a good cry right now.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Debra,

Hey all,

The site is amazing! I had my surgery over 10 years ago and would have loved to have had a site like this.

I have always wondered about the anal sex issue. My family doctor said it was ok and I am waiting to here from my GI.

I have in the past used a small vibrator with no lasting side effects. I will let you know if I go any further and what the results are.

Thanks again to all of you out there who are willing to engage in such open discussion.

I agree with an earlier post...the surgeon should have final word on this rather than a GI or family doc. I was told by my surgeon that anal sex was a no-go for good. He said he's had to repair several prolapsed rectums due to this.

Just take 'er easy Eric!

Good for you!

Z